How can you help someone empathize with men more?

Independent_Growth38 · 2025-05-08T21:16:13+00:00

Truth can not be told. Truth must be realised.

Until something bad happens to one of her male friends and family members, she'll likely continue to think the way she does.

Hefty-Rip-5397 · 2025-05-08T21:11:30+00:00

If anyone could answer this I'm sure they would have enough by now. Sadly it's why we find our opinions and thoughts safe only in places like this, a sub for men. Try asking this somewhere else because every man here faces the same question.... Just my opinion though perhaps not ALL men. Didn't mean to generalize

Luchadorgreen · 2025-05-09T08:55:34+00:00

is a genuinely good person

Nobody would say that about a man who feels the same way as your friend does about the opposite gender.

Vegetable_Ad1732 · 2025-05-09T01:10:16+00:00

"This friend mind you is a genuinely good person, she is compassionate and kind, but she seems to really have low empathy towards men generally."

Can you say oxymoron? 🤣

rabel111 · 2025-05-09T00:45:38+00:00

Many women like feminism because it makes them feel powerful, allows them to have no responsibility for their anger and gender bias, and it validates their every act and every word without moderation.

When feminists talk to individual men in their lives, acts of hatred and bias become personal and accountable, and they are less likely to exhibit them without moderation.

Be clear, that as soon as this feminist is no longer a friend, she will deal with you the way she deals with men at a societal level, with no empathy, no sympathy and no humanity.

Mrjaleep · 2025-05-09T13:24:59+00:00

Well some women can't empathize with men because some of them hate men because of feminism and women will never admit that they're wrong they would rather be right than wrong so if a woman wantsto empathize with a man she might have to change her ways because being a feminist is not helping when everything is the man's fault.

SidewaysGiraffe · 2025-05-08T22:56:31+00:00

Well, here's the thing: she's not that compassionate or kind. Oh, she may be towards the people she feels those things toward, but both of those attributes require a certain level of humility, and that's something few people have these days.

There was a video game series called "S.T.A.L.K.E.R.", which was janky and wonky but very well-loved, make by a company in Ukraine. It ran for three games and then the developer shut down (it's still not clear why), and several former members went on to form another game development company, called "Vostok".

That surprised me, and in the comments section of wherever the heck I read it, I questioned why a Ukrainian video game company would name itself after a Russian space program (the Vostok capsule was their equivalent of the Mercury, and was the first to carry a human into space), given the less-than-pleasant history between the two countries. I was corrected that Vostok was a Soviet space program, and was taken aback again, since I'd just assumed Ukrainian attitudes toward Russia would be quite negative- this was just a few years after the invasion of Georgia. But it turned out to be more complex than I'd thought, and perhaps was seen as a symbol of accomplishment for Ukraine, as well as for Russia. I'd oversimplified- but I could admit that, apologize, and try to improve.

Then came the invasion of Crimea, and then Ukraine as a whole, and I can't help wondering how the company members feel now- if any of the poor bastards are still alive, that is. Perhaps I wasn't wrong; just premature- but perhaps not.

I know it sounds harsh, but if you can't empathize with people you don't know, and see them as just another unspecified group of entities (whether threatening or otherwise)... well, Dunbar says human psychology has its limits, and he's probably right. But if you're willing to let those govern your actions, and not even TRY to improve, then you're really not a good person- just a practical one.

You can't open another person's mind.

Charming-News-966 · 2025-05-09T01:03:48+00:00

Maybe you should recommend her read books talk about feminism more objectively. I advise not start with heavy ones something gives little empathy to start maybe bell hooks “the will to change” though this is not %100 mens right but something different. For me the thing changed my mind is seeing male victims in courts. Thats how I started think like “ wait thats same abuse women experience and it comes from women this time” so maybe watching some documentaries or videos about that.

World-Three · 2025-05-09T04:17:31+00:00

Most of the people I meet apathetic to men's issues are basically set that way until they find a male they care to protect. It could be an adult, child, family, or friend.

Falling into the "you're one of the good ones" category is basically you just wearing her crest in her mind. If you act out of line that crest will likely be removed and you'll be promoted to "all men".

I think the hard part most people, not just women, don't get is that, we're typically not having healthy interactions anymore. If the only time people talk is to get things done, you're nothing but a body, smell, voice, and little else. Little Billy or Steve from our school math problems doesn't have a purpose if he doesn't have any pumpkins or apples to count, or any distance to travel around or between. He's simply a noun with no adjectives...

Unfortunately for your friend if that adjective is male, then she doesn't care about what Billy or Steve wants to do at all. I think you should just chalk it up... Or ask how would she go about defending YOU, in situations you feel strongly about.

If you don't like her answers, maybe she isn't a good friend.

Vegetable_Ad1732 · 2025-05-09T01:12:25+00:00

You can find remarkably moving testimonials online from men who have been raped, by either men or women. Have her read some of them.

Gleichstellung4084 · 2025-05-09T21:04:44+00:00

it is time you empathise with the victim identity of a person. It is so important and provides so many advantages, that it is impossible to convince them with words.

Complete-Junket-8209 · 2025-05-10T20:05:56+00:00

Unfortunately no matter how much you want to help people who don't want to be helped won't be you can't help everyone man

pearl_harbour1941 · 2025-05-12T19:53:47+00:00

I think it's easy for women to be compassionate/empathetic towards people, children and animals that are more vulnerable than them. But that's where their compassion/empathy ends. It's a vulnerability-index-linked trait.

If we're brutally honest, it's not actually empathy at all. It's sympathetic caring.

In her mind, men are unworthy of compassion, empathy or sympathetic caring because they do not rank on her internal vulnerability index. Men are either not vulnerable, or should not be vulnerable. Ergo no compassion for them.

deekaighem · 2025-05-15T17:39:43+00:00

Be courteous but unapologetic and understand that you'll be made a pariah for that. Hold your frame and stay clam and courteous.

ariestae · 2025-05-09T09:04:59+00:00

The answer is in her past. Let her talk about the men in her life that made her think that way. Not TV, books or your logic, there is a reason why people think the way they do. Listen well. A worldview is not shaped in 10 seconds, and will not be knocked off in a 10 minutes argument. Talk about the good men in her life. She will naturally empathize with them, she might then extend this empathy to other good men.

Annika_Desai · 2025-05-09T09:29:35+00:00

This is the thought pattern that helped me: i adore dogs. Can they bite me? Yes. Will they bite me? I don't know. If I exercise zero restraint and run to any and all dogs, pet them, hug them, how many will bite me? I don't know. I still adore dogs, I just exercise caution around them.

It's the same with men. How many are actually dangerous? We don't know because we can't read minds and/or see into the future. I looked at kids, little boys. Are they monsters? Are they predators? Nope. I watched them behave pretty much the same as girls, having complex emotions, fear, love, care, hate, like, dislike, joy, sadness. They're just people.

People can be dangerous but that doesn't mean all people actually are dangerous. Seeing all or most men as dangerous is a heightened over reactive safeguarding mechanism and is illogical. If we behave this way around dogs, the dogs sense our fear and assume that WE are the threat. It's the same with humans, they can sense our fear. Like, i have autism. Sometimes I'm fine around humans, sometimes I'm overly fearful. When I'm overly fearful, other humans (regardless of gender) get defensive as that's a normal human reaction. Therefore, if we act fearful and suspicious of all men, those men will naturally have an instinctual reaction to be defensive which will cause a confirmation bias perpetuating the cycle of fear/distrust.

I internalised this and now I'm friendly towards men in general, normal things like smiling as i skip down the street, talking with them like they're just a human and not seeking to get things from me, which has led to me having more pleasant interactions and a better mood in general. I have had some men take it the wrong way, but it's actually very few. In public in the day, the risk factors are very very low. In the dark, the risk factors increase because I dont believe most men will harm me, but I can't be certain which ones are safe, so I'm less friendly but not rude. In fact, I just stay home.

We can be cautious around all men and also at the same time not assume they're all dangerous. That's the key. It really hurts to be perceived as a threat by so many people. I understand this pain so well with being autistic, it causes allistic people to see me as a threat bc I'm different/weird/etc.

Your friend needs to internalise that men are human beings. Even if a guy is attracted to me/her, so? Doesn't mean he's a creep suddenly. That's literally natural. It's the same as if a woman is attracted to a man. Like, acting like most men are predators bc they're heterosexual and may see a woman and desire her is the same as saying she wants all men to either be gay or asexual which makes zero sense.

Sorry for the ramble. I'm struggling to articulate myself because what led me to this place in life was complex, nuanced and took a lot of time and work.

notyourtypicalfilip · 2025-05-12T05:52:34+00:00

Why would you expect your friend to care for the general male population? It’s actually very healthy for her to think that way, being selective who she cares for. You sound a bit unaware of how the world works.

Title	How can you help someone empathize with men more?
Author	Useful-Barracuda7556
Upvotes	66
Comments	33
Date	May 8, 2025 8:57 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1ki119j/how_can_you_help_someone_empathize_with_men_more/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/how-can-you-help-someone-empathize-with-men-more.1551817 https://theredarchive.com/post/1551817

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