Projected divorce settlement

engineered-chemistry · 2025-05-13T19:50:41+00:00

Get your wife to go back to work for a year before divorcing her. You will thank me later.

Bulky-Percentage-243 · 2025-05-13T18:32:51+00:00

State?

Honestly, divorce is a little bleak for guys.

Good news - you can see the horizon for child support. And custody fights. Both have a ton of games. Hopefully you can skip most of them.

Bad news - defined benefit plans are difficult to split. I wouldn't split my own especially if it came with medical benefits. It'd be messy to say the least. I'd buy her out with the home equity. The calculation (present value) is a bit tricky. It's similar to a lotto lump sum calculation versus payments anticipating lifespans and interest rates.

Bad news - I don't think FAFSA makes reasonable decisions for divorced parents. Money evaporates pretty quickly as one household becomes two and I'm not quite sure FAFSA accounts for this. I was in too high a bracket to get anything, so, I'm not quite sure. But I do know I barely kept my kids in school.

Mixed news - exiting the housing market may make it very difficult to buy back in. I tied "success" and "home ownership" together. So it crushed me when I lost my home. BUT... then again, I pay $3500 a month in rent. A home mortgage with 20% down in my area would be $8000 or more. So I have an extra $4500 a month. The difference is going into a pre-tax savings plan. I think we're at peak housing anyway. Sure feels 2008-ish.

Depending on state, do not leave anything open ended. Work out an end date for alimony especially.

FUMoney · 2025-05-12T12:30:33+00:00

Yes, you can project. Look at your local jurisdiction's divorce laws. See what they say concerning marital property split, spousal support, child support. Some jurisdictions even have calculators for the last two items.

Plug it in, see where you are at. But, twenty-year marriage, fourteen-year stay-at-home wife, and one kid still at home: you're going to lose half, at least, probably more when the spousal support gets factored in. She'll get a nice chunk of the pension of course, you sell the house and split the equity. These things are definitely going to happen.

Even so, if you are miserable being married, get ready to file and deal with the results.

Paddle_Pedal_Puddle · 2025-05-12T11:03:33+00:00

I was in a similar boat - 17 years married, teacher wife who chose to be a SAHM after having kids. Get a consult with a lawyer because it will vary a lot from state to state.

In my case, all marital assets are cut in half. She gets half of all my retirement and investment accounts less my pre-marital contributions (with interest). I had to buy her out of my pension and stock options. House was close to paid off; we’re selling and splitting the equity. She has to go back to work as a teacher but there’s still a large income disparity, so I owe a decent chunk of alimony, which decreases over time for 7 years.

It’s going to suck hard financially for a while. I will not retire in 10 years like I hoped to do. It’s still worth it to get free of a lying cheater who didn’t love me.

What is it that has you considering divorce? Is there something she could change? Is it salvageable if you both put in some work? Unless there’s cheating or abuse, I’d do whatever I could to save the marriage. I would also communicate how serious whatever the issues are to her so that she isn’t totally blindsided by a divorce, which hopefully will make the divorce process more amicable.

ciscokid12345 · 2025-05-12T05:46:03+00:00

It’s worth paying $200 for an hour of consultation with a quality divorce attorney in your jurisdiction to let you in on what the local judges are typically doing with other similar matters. The judges have a lot of leeway in their judgment.

I could tell you that after fighting for two years with my insane ex for 50% (she wanted 100% of everything) in Riverside Ca, I finally got a court hearing and the judge chopped everything I owned in half and 50/50 custody of my small children, while not making me pay her legal fees, and imputing her as if she had a full time job befitting her experience/ education. But this may not be the normal experience in Tulsa or Baltimore.

The good news: She has an advanced degree and work experience. Also your kids are mostly grown.

The bad news: You will lose half the equity of the house and half your retirement. Plus you will probably pay some amount of alimony for a while.

My attorneys fees were $75,000 and my ex paid close to $60,000. Hopefully she is a reasonable person and will agree to settle for 50% in mediation before it gets expensive.

Title	Projected divorce settlement
Author	Content_Rain7269
Upvotes	2
Comments	6
Date	May 11, 2025 6:30 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1kk7sux/projected_divorce_settlement/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/projected-divorce-settlement.1551970 https://theredarchive.com/post/1551970

Comments