Stuck in a 'Now or Never' Mindset, How Do I Slow Down & Build Attraction Naturally?

Rhino3750ss · 2025-05-17T11:48:04+00:00

If you have abundance, you need to demonstrate preselection via your demeanor. The more patient you are, the more urgent the girl will be and she will often initiate kissing or sex on the first date anyway.

Women and the internet have deceived us into thinking they want us to take the lead and initiate/escalate quick. Fact is, women are the choosers because men are the prize. When they talk about wanting a leader, that means you leading yourself in a way that they want to follow. If they feel safe with you, they won't hesitate to initiate with you physically. When you try to "take the lead" with them or assert yourself, it shows you care about the outcome hence aren't preselected and they laugh at you inside their mind.

A good way to learn discipline is to understand what "shit tests" actually are. They are interest tests, you can also call them urgency tests. They are evaluating your interest level at all times whether subconsciously or on purpose. Once they sense your interest in them exceeds their interest in you; you are finished. They are looking for urgency in your facial expressions, your choice of words, your vocal tone, your cadence of speech, and your body movement.

With all that said, all shit tests can be passed if you respond like a brick wall would. Be so patient that you can't be moved.

When I was first learning patience, I found that I remained in more grounded energy when I started slowing my tempo and lowering my tone towards the end of sentences instead of the opposite. Not only does that show level emotional control to others, it actually helps you increase your own control internally the more you practice it, and eventually it automatically adjusts your other mannerisms. That one thing alone can make girls comfortable enough to initiate with you.

TypeOPositive- · 2025-05-17T11:53:16+00:00

You don’t have abundance.

FriendlyWrenChilling · 2025-05-17T13:21:35+00:00

if you had real abundance, this wont be a problem. Externally it might feel like a lot of coming in and "results" are happening, but internally you're just using this as a cope for something else. As long as you cope and try to use materialism to fill the abyss which cannot be filled, you will be in scarcity.

The problem with abundance is that you don't really get it until you complete your pickup "journey." Don't want to ruin the surprise for you, but I think most will think it's rather dissappointing. You can refer to my post "top 10 inner game beliefs" - quite comprehensive to solve what you have outlined here.

KoleSekor · 2025-05-17T13:41:25+00:00

"Fixated on when I was going to kiss her?"

For me, I can't even think about kissing her until I've completed the stages or levels before kissing her in sequential order. From touching her platonically to moving into pre-kiss body language (where you're standing or sitting very, very close, inclined toward one another, almost like cuddling, dancing, or hugging).

So just focus on one small escalation at a time.

norwegiandoggo · 2025-05-17T11:58:30+00:00

Why do you think there's something wrong with your natural inclination?

Seems like you're judging your feelings negatively for no clear reason. If you want sex on the first date no problem.

Title	Stuck in a 'Now or Never' Mindset, How Do I Slow Down & Build Attraction Naturally?
Author	Youcandoit-1111
Upvotes	8
Comments	13
Date	May 17, 2025 11:20 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1koqmju/stuck_in_a_now_or_never_mindset_how_do_i_slow/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/stuck-in-a-now-or-never-mindset-how-do-i-slow-down.1552409 https://theredarchive.com/post/1552409

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