I’m a guy in my very early 30s. I’ve worked on myself relentlessly, almost to a point of obsession where I’m now lean muscular, look good (not movie star good but good), in clinic professional skincare, fixed me teeth for a great smile, worked on my social skills and became good at banter and flirting and conversation in general (big step up for me starting as an introvert), put work into understanding body language and social cues, have good grounded presence because I’ve been through things in life. I take care of my grooming, fashion, and even smell good (got into perfumes).

I did most of this out of self love and that I should treat myself better, show myself more respect for how I show up in the world.

And now the tables have turned and idk what to do. Let me explain, in my early 20s I used to be quite nervous of talking to the most attractive girls. Fast forward to now and the more I seem to take care of myself (physical or mental), I get more attention from both women and men.

But the challenge is, most girls (at least the most attractive ones I’m into) immediately dart eyes when I look at them. It’s so fast, less than half a second, there’s not enough time for me to even register and initiate a smile. And I’ve tried to make my presence less dominating by practising soft calm eyes, a mild smile like expression to appear more friendly but haven’t had any real success in softening this. And most girls are visibly nervous when talking to me, and I’ve even softened my personality for the first conversation where I just chat calmly, bring in some banter and dial back if I see them get nervous. And boom the next time they’d dart eyes and even show less warmth/receptiveness to me. Here again I’d think it’s a leadership test or nerves and I’d poke small conversation topics to test their vibe. But seems like a smooth flow/continuity is missing and without that how do I escalate…

I don’t understand what’s happening, I thought all of this would be easier with the work I’ve put in myself. For more context, this is in a gym/fitness group class and it’s an urban city in an Asian region somewhat conservative but not really. I haven’t gone out clubbing in some time, will do later who knows might find better luck there.

Appreciate any inputs or even better if someone had a similar experience and how they overcame this.