Discussion: degrees of submission

LateralThinker13 · 2025-08-08T16:05:06+00:00

Submission is something that can be broad or deep as your comment implies. It should be something that you lean into more as the relationship progresses. But it should also only be to a man who will reciprocate with proper leadership. As the relationship deepens, so should your submission but also so should his leadership.

Plenty of women submit too much or too early, to a man who is unable or unwilling to lead. They don't do proper vetting, or think that just by submitting they will make him into a leader when he is not willing/able to be one.

Submission isn't for everybody. But it's what has been used successfully throughout history for the majority. Those who deviate from it but aren't willing to do the work to conceptualize and negotiate an alternative will suffer - as is true of anybody who rejects inherited wisdom, and this can be seen in the decay and degeneracy of modern Western civilization and the collapse of families and population.

_Pumpkin_Muffin · 2025-08-08T18:15:12+00:00

Ooooh I love this topic.

The state of total submission to your partner happens gradually through incremental reciprocation

Would you say that total submission is the goal? I'd say the goal is "whatever level feels harmonious for that relationship". "Total" is going to be harmonious for a very small minority of people, I think. Or maybe I have a different definition of total.

For my part I like the suggestion that you want to be an agreeable girlfriend and a submissive wife

Absolutely agree. Agreeableness is for boyfriends, submission is for husbands. You do not submit to someone who has not your best interest at heart, who has not promised to be together for the rest of your lives... because you do not make long term decisions for someone who won't be around in the longterm.

I definitely felt a shift when we I got married. I was already pretty submissive before, but marriage meant my submission suddenly, spontaneously expanded into everything, all the time... because we were "everything, all the time". I trusted him. We wanted the same thing: to be happy together, for the rest of our lives. I trusted he'd always think of me, take care of me, want what was best for me/us. He could lead us, because there WAS an "us". He could drive, because we were in the car together. He could set the course, because we were headed in the same direction - and yes I'd follow him where he wanted to go, but also he wouldn't want to go somewhere where I wouldn't be happy following him, you know? I think leadership/dominance must come before submission, because you can't submit into nothing, you can't follow someone who is not walking somewhere. So it makes sense, to me, that total submission would only come after getting total commitment - it is a deep, essential sense of safety, security, to hear that promise. Yes, I'll be there. Yes, I'll take you, yes, I'll give myself.

Submission is how I show trust, and dominance is how I feel loved. So when we promised to give each other our everything, I gave it all... gave all of myself. Because I knew his hands were there to take me.

I know there are people here who are in a committed LTR with no desire for marriage. I guess they find that safety and commitment in a different way. But for me, wanting marriage, anything else would have been "less than". I would never have been able to let go, trust so deeply.

Either way, you do not do this for someone who hasn't promised to be there, and whom you don't completely trust to keep his word.

InevitableKiwi5776 · 2025-08-11T03:46:53+00:00

I’m someone who always had trouble not submitting too much and too early, which did lead to committing to men who were not leaders. Definitely recommend restraining that impulse for those who are prone to it, although I don’t think I ever really successfully did.

I think I just got really lucky with my partner that things have worked out even with us committing pretty early on and kind of diving straight in. But also we’re older with plenty of relationship experience on both sides, so we were able to articulate exactly what we both wanted.

Fantastic-Fudge888 · 2025-08-13T20:11:11+00:00

Highly highly recommend reading the Queens Code to understand how "surrendering to his leadership" inspires him to provide, protect, worship, rather than explain it, I genuinely think it is a book every woman should read no matter her age or relationship status

The book actually made me reconsider my whole role in the dynamic of my previous relationships and it's how I happened upon this group

Loved reading some of these comments to see how the dynamics are in more established RPW marriages

AutoModerator · 2025-08-08T15:45:48+00:00

Thank you for posting to RPW. Here are a couple reminders:

If you are seeking relationship advice. Make sure you are answering the guidelines for asking for advice on the rules page. Include any relevant context regarding religion, culture, living arrangements/LDRs, or other information that will help commenters.
Do not delete your post once you have your answers. Others may have the same question!
You must participate in your own post. If you put up a post and disappear, it will be removed.
We are not here for non-participants to study us. If you are writing a paper or just curious, read our sidebar and wiki and old posts.
Men are not allowed to ask questions and generally discouraged from participating unless they are older, partnered and have Red Pill experience.
Within the last year, RedPillWomen has had over half a dozen 'Banned from 'x' subreddit' post for commenting/subscribing to RPW. Moving forwards, the mods will remove these types of posts: 1, 2, 3, 4. We recommend you make a RPW specific account.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

AutoModerator · 2025-08-08T15:45:48+00:00

Title: Discussion: degrees of submission

Author Deliaallmylife

Full text: One of the foundational concepts in RPW is that submission is a strategy to trigger the male protective instincts. We have seen it used to success and to failure.

Let's discuss when submission is appropriate and what that looks like at various stages of dating (for clarity let's use the early dating stage, the exclusive committed stage and the life time stage). Do you agree with it as a universal strategy in any stage of dating? Does it look different based on commitment level? Is it a concept that fits into your relationship?

My rough answer is below and can be a jumping off point or not. Share your thoughts!

For my part I like the suggestion that you want to be an agreeable girlfriend and a submissive wife. The state of total submission to your partner happens gradually through incremental reciprocation as the relationship progresses. I also think there are varying degrees of submission once you hit that level of commitment which probably relates to the dominance levels of the people in the relationship.

^{This is the original text of the post and this is an automated service}

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Title	Discussion: degrees of submission
Author	Deliaallmylife
Upvotes	37
Comments	20
Date	August 8, 2025 3:45 PM UTC (11 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1mkyq2o/discussion_degrees_of_submission/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/discussion-degrees-of-submission.1559155 https://theredarchive.com/post/1559155

Comments