This community was created as a harbor for RP minded women whose goal is to build a lasting and happy relationship with a great man....What we all share is not a lifestyle, a set of values, or a worldview, but a way of relating to men.

There are many tools in the RPW toolbox but the most cited and probably used tool is submission. The ways this can look are as varied as the women here and it is something that needs to be doled out via incremental reciprocation.

There is nothing more frustrating and heartbreaking for us OG RPW ladies as seeing women come in and write a post asking how the OP can submit harder, do more, be less upset , change her values, change her life...only to find out that she has been dating her man for three weeks.

You are still vetting at 3 weeks, at 3 months, at 6 months. You are still vetting when he asks you to be exclusive, or to be his girlfriend. You are still vetting when you move in together. You are still vetting until you have tied yourself to him for life. If you can theoretically pack a bag and leave tomorrow without divorce proceedings and child support payments, you are still vetting.

Vetting is what you do to determine if you can be with this man forever. And one important question to ask is "can I be with him and be content if he never changes from the man he is today".

  • Does he have values that you find intolerable? Can you live with them forever without changing your values?

  • Does he work so much that it is impossible to plan dates? Can you live with nights alone or raising kids while he spends his weekends in the office?

  • Does he say things that hurt you? Are you ok living with that for the rest of your life?

  • Does he look at other women, escape into gaming, watch porn, drinks past good sense, abuse substances? Are you willing to have those behaviors in your life forever and can you be happy and not resentful?

This is a non-exhaustive list. It is just some of the topics that have come up over the years on this sub.

In the first 6 months at least, you should not be changing yourself for a man. You should be asking "can I live with him if he never changes. And the bigger the issue, the longer into the relationship you should be asking the question. Things often seem acceptable at first and become tiresome over time.

Now this is RPW so I am not suggesting that you are wonderful and perfect just the way you are. I am suggesting that you should not get into a relationship where you immediately have to change your behaviors/values/mindset to be with a man. If you have to do that, you aren't compatible. He can still be the most amazing man you have ever met but that doesn't mean he is the man for you.

Can you respect his behavior if it never changes? And can you do it without compromising yourself

Good luck and happy vetting!