I usually follow rules closely and have been successful in dating men who treat me well, spoil me, and give me the respect I deserve. But recently, I went off track. I let myself get caught up in the fantasy of “love and connection” and dated someone 8 years younger.

I met him at a professional event. When exchanging contacts, I suggested LinkedIn, but he pushed for WhatsApp. Later, I reached out about something professional, and he immediately suggested meeting in person.

At that meeting, after only a few minutes of small talk, he shifted to very personal topics, sharing details about his dating life. Later on a walk, he sat very close to me. I told him I sensed he wanted to kiss me but that I didn’t want to engage that way, even though I was attracted. He persisted until we kissed, and eventually, things escalated further.

We met a few more times. During those encounters, he told me I was “special,” that I had “great potential,” and that what we had “wasn’t casual.” So when I went traveling for two weeks, I believed there was something deeper growing.

But when I came back, he told me he wanted to be “honest” and revealed that in just the past week, he had been with several other women — and described them in detail. He admitted he hadn’t even wanted to kiss me at first because he felt “dirty,” then asked if telling me that killed the “magic.” He added that in an ideal world, he’d like to continue his lifestyle AND keep seeing me — maybe once a week — but he wasn’t looking for love. At the same time, he stressed wanting to keep me around because of my “potential” and how powerful I’ll become in our shared circles.

I had allowed myself to try dating someone younger, thinking I’d still receive pursuit and respect. Not exclusivity right away, but at least sincerity. Instead, I told him I couldn’t be part of that dynamic and acknowledged that maybe his behavior was him processing a breakup (his ex cheated after 5+ years together).

A few days later, he sent me his health test results in a message that felt cold and impersonal, almost like a copy-paste he might have sent to multiple women.

Now I’m left asking myself:

– What should I take as lessons from this?

– How do I make sure I never end up in this type of situation again?

– Was I blinded by my emotions, or was there ever anything real in this connection?