What do RedPill men say about dating girls with absent fathers?

secret_barber · 2015-11-05T17:40:18+00:00

It's a red flag, but not a deal breaker on it's own.

buddboy · 2015-11-05T17:43:20+00:00

I have two female friends like this. Both can be extremely self-entitled, selfish and emotional. Even if they have “good hearts” they didn’t grow up in an emotionally stable environment and so when they feel an emotion it completely takes over.

Both have long term boyfriends that I am also friends with. One of them actually seems like an excellent redpill gf, and even though is emotional she follows the lead of the bf who is her rock, he of course is quite alpha/redpill. The other girl is dating a textbook beta/bluepill. She literally uses him as a punching bag and if she is upset about anything yells at him for hours at a time, even if it has nothing to do with him, and also has cheated on him, probably more than once.

So basically, if you are redpill and alpha and lead the relationship, and can be an unmoving rock in her stream of emotions, then I say give it a try. Because she never had the male influence growing up, never had that male validation or emotional stability, her emotions may at times be like a roller coaster, and she may go to great lengths to seek validation. But if you follow typical redpill advice on relationships from the sidebar, and set boundaries of what is and isn’t okay, and stick to them constantly and consistently like a dog trainer, she can be a great partner. But if she has a freak out and you loose frame and yell back, or get on your knees and apologize for something you didn’t do, or buy her a big gift to make her feel better when shes upset over nothing, or ask her how you can be a better bf after she cheats on you, then she will only give you attention when she needs something, either material or emotional, and will never be attracted to you or want to please you, you are there to serve her.

It’s a risk but I say go for it. Many girls these days grow up without fathers, and even for nothing else, do it for the learning experience, you can use it in a future relationship. There is always a way to next a girl.

plein_old · 2015-11-05T18:53:37+00:00

On some level she will tend to re-enact whatever happened with her dad. Like feeling victimized by him. She might even, down the road, start to imagine things about you that aren't even true, in order to re-enact old behaviors & conflicts.

All women do this. All men do it too, imo, though probably not as much.

If you are a good strong guy why not go for it.

EDITED to clarify one sentence.

longerdistance · 2015-11-05T18:50:17+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/3rjch9/im_in_fucking_tears_right_now_a_woman_used_the/cwox35v

bsutansalt · 2015-11-05T19:46:33+00:00

The older I get, the easier it is to score with girls who have daddy issues. Alright, alriiiight.

Seriously though, daddy issues is a huge red flag, but it does allow large age gaps. In fact they feel pretty normal, so long as the woman isn't immature about it. The real danger is their friends who will do their best to create animosity. If you can manage them, then you can have a great relationship all things being equal.

Do keep in mind there's a lot more to daddy issues than this. I'm just highlighting on aspect that men can benefit from.

leftajar · 2015-11-05T22:16:13+00:00

Gentlemen, meet sex expert and old-school PUA, David Shade:

Self-esteem is formed early in life and takes years to develop. A woman's biggest influence in her developing years are her parents, and it is her father that has the most important influence. It is through him that she acquires the ability, or lack of ability, to have an emotionally healthy relationship with men. A woman who had a close relationship with her father when she was a little girl is what I call a 'Daddy's Girl.' Her father was loving and caring. He believed in her and supported her. He taught her to be self reliant, independent, and to believe in herself. He may have even taught her how to throw a baseball or throw a punch. She thus grew up with a high self-esteem, a healthy relationship with men, and a good sense of deservedness. She is thus emotionally healthy and believes that she deserves to be treated well by men. Interestingly, she is also very skilled at influencing men and making a man feel emotionally close to her.

Her relationship with her father goes through stages. As a little girl, she loves him dearly and looks up to him. When the taboo instinct sets in at about age 14, she becomes independent from him and sees him as the biggest dork in the world. By the time she matures into the age of legal adult, she again adores him and cares about him dearly. But at any age, she always wants him to see her as innocent and pure, and she wants him to continue to be proud of her.

This is in contrast to another woman who had a condescending or absent father. Such a woman is incapable of forming a deep emotional bond with a man. She has a bottomless pit of emotional need that can never be filled. She believes that she deserves to be treated poorly by men, though she expects being showered with attention and material gifts. She is often spotted in the company of men that view women as objects. Her relationship with her mother is also important. I have known daddy's girls who had mothers that were total emotional basket cases and made very bad decisions for themselves. In those cases, the young women tend to make bad decisions for themselves. To a large extent, women tend to repeat the same successes or failures of their mothers. Such daddy's girls display some of the typical traits of a daddy's girl, but they make mistakes such as having no direction in life. The very best women are those who had two good parents in a good relationship.

RPAlternate42 · 2015-11-05T22:16:56+00:00

You're going to see varying degrees of 2 sides:

She, missing her father, wishing she had that masculine energy in her life, will go full RPW on you. More likely the result of a father driven out by the mother or a mother who was a post-divorce or post-father-leaving CC rider.
She is full on independent, me-first, self-entitled princess who shit test constantly. Likely the result of a father who was a dead beat and ran away (mistrust of men) or a narcissist mother who raised her to be selfish and to use men for resources.

Basically, extremes of a well balanced girl.

[deleted] · 2015-11-06T01:26:07+00:00

Plate her, don't date her.

[deleted] · 2015-11-05T21:48:12+00:00

Like mother, like daughter.

Just look to the mother and see how she is.

tb87670 · 2015-11-05T22:37:17+00:00

My first plate I recently had hated her father and was raised by her mother. It has a profound effect, believe me. She kept lots of her exes in orbit and got upset I wouldn't do the same, I think she was just going to keep collecting betas saying she wasn't 'ready for dating' and then like a pokemon game just pick out her favorite out of the lot when she does want to use one.

cdogg75 · 2015-11-06T00:08:33+00:00

ass to mouth, don't kiss her after

awalt_cupcake · 2015-11-06T00:40:32+00:00

Plate material. Don't let them fool you. They guise as romantics, little girls, sweet hearts, etc. But they're manipulative masterminds.

mister_barfly75 · 2015-11-06T09:52:15+00:00

The more that divorce happens, the more you're going to encounter girls who are being raised without their fathers. You can't automatically disqualify them as potential dates/plates, otherwise you'll find yourself with a very, very small dating pool to chose from.

What you should keep an eye out for is My mum says, all men are assholes, like my dad or that kind of shit - it'll give you an indication of how she sees men in general, plus give you an idea of what kind of shit tests / comfort tests she'll be putting you through.

Dontupvoteanything · 2015-11-05T17:41:21+00:00

She considers her dad an asshole

Okay...

Parents are divorced

Okay...

she has a low partner count

I call Bullshit.

Conclusion: Plate + read the sidebar and learn.

Dontupvoteanything · 2015-11-05T18:10:57+00:00

It's a risk. It's a red flag. Be on the lookout for other red flags.

how do you know she has a low N? Because she.... told you?

Proceed with extreme caution. If she says Dad's an asshole, she's got daddy issues. They're prone to drama, being overly emotional and histrionic, grandiosity, and personality disorders.

But she might not have those problems.

throwawaylifespan · 2015-11-05T18:57:27+00:00

Regardless of the daughter's attitude, don't judge the dad 'til you get to know him. The statistics speak louder than your Trump bloke.

notmyusualreddit · 2015-11-05T20:26:09+00:00

Like everything else, context and her understanding of the situation matter a lot.

I know two girls well that have divorced parents. One is married now for 5 years and seems to be the god damn poster child of amazing young wives. She saw her mom lose her dad when she was 15, and saw her dad marry a younger nicer happier woman and have a great life for the last 10-15 years. While her mom has struggled and now at 50+ is working in an office. I have a strong belief that this girl will be a good wife because she saw what can happen to a woman that becomes a nag instead of a loving wife.

On the other hand, I know a girl with divorced parents that does nothing but reek of crazyness and negativity. She says that divorce is a viable option and better than being miserable. And that divorce is better for kids instead of being in a miserable household. Now, you'd have to be a god damn fucking idiot to ever marry this chick.

What shes learned from the events in her life is more important than the actual events IMO.

favours_of_the_moon · 2015-11-05T20:29:32+00:00

It's a gold mine for older men.

singlehandedly · 2015-11-05T20:45:34+00:00

Don't do it. Daddy issues are not LTR material. I'm talking from experience. It IS a red flag and puts a bullet in the barrel. Just my two cents.

[deleted] · 2015-11-05T21:09:12+00:00

If daddy issues are the only red flag... Proceed with caution. Throw in any other red flag(s) and this girl should only be a pump and dump

[deleted] · 2015-11-05T21:36:47+00:00

Part of how I see RP is that it's an individual practise. Others can provide advice, but in the end, we don't have the knowledge necessary to make the decision that you do. The only thing I see that may apply to every such question is that RP stresses self-confidence. And, therefore, it behooves you to take a risk, fail, and try again. RP stresses resilence in the face of hardship, above all else, after all.

symko · 2015-11-06T15:55:17+00:00

Women can gauge the masculinity of a man by comparing them to their fathers. Women cannot see beauty, they don't comprehend it like we do. (Which is probably why their places are filled with that 'live, love, laugh' bullshit)

So women who have a poor relationship with their father are like a broken thermometer. You try to get a read and it won't read.

Plate, rinse and repeat.

AlphaAccountant · 2015-11-05T17:46:30+00:00

Bitches are looking for a surrogate father in a man. No agency means they don't like taking blame, so they need to have a father figure on which to rely on.

Lack of a strong father figure means they've never developed deep down how to appreciate this in a man.

Which is why in most cases, it is more trouble than it is worth. AWALT and all that.

All this being said, one of my friends has a LTR who's father would more than likely fit the bill of being an asshole. He's red without even knowing it. They're relationship seems rather healthy.

YMMV but don't get too hung up on it if it doesn't work. And do go playing captain save a hoe.

Title	What do RedPill men say about dating girls with absent fathers?
Author	Dontupvoteanything
Upvotes	20
Comments	49
Date	November 5, 2015 5:28 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/3rnhc8/what_do_redpill_men_say_about_dating_girls_with/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/what-do-redpill-men-say-about-dating-girls-with.156150 https://theredarchive.com/post/156150

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