How often do judges overrule agreements a couple makes for themselves

Pleasant-Mechanic-49 · 2025-09-17T20:27:47+00:00

Alimony: Low CHANCE of being overruled: A judge will almost always rubber-stamp this. You're both adults with good incomes.

Child Support: HIGH CHANCE of being overruled. This is the one judges get really picky about. bc The golden rule is: Child support is the right of the CHILD, not
the parents. You can't just waive it.Anyway she can still ask it in the future.

Your "$0 support" plan with "in-kind" payments can work, but you
have to do it right. To have any chance of a judge signing off, your written agreement MUST:
- State the official guideline amount. You have to run the Oregon calculator and show the judge what the number should be.
-THEN Justify the deviation. Y explains why you're going to $0 and how your plan is still in the "best interest of the children. eg: ...because u will be solely responsible for the children's health and dental insurance premiums ($XXX/month)...

So u have 2 Paths

Path A ie Custom, No Formal Support): It's possible, but requires careful legal drafting. It's more likely to get questioned by the judge.
Path B (Formal Support): This is the legally "clean" path. The judge sees this every day. The math is clear, the obligations are defined by law. The judge will sign this in a heartbeat. It's predictable and less likely to cause arguments down the road about who was supposed to pay for what.

so Go with a version of Path B. It's way cleaner and avoids future headaches.For example, you agree I pay you the guideline child support, and in return, we agree on a lower (or zero) spousal support amount.

The court understands that all these numbers are connected. By using the standard child support framework, you are speaking the court's language, and you're much more likely to get your agreement approved without a fuss.

TimelyResearch1702 · 2025-09-14T13:18:40+00:00

From what I saw in these forums, judge is may dismiss agreement where women doesn't get the max she could under state laws. As you are making a lot more and she could get alimony, you agreeing that she will not will raise red flags. There may be investigation if she has been coerced, got proper legal representation, etc. But this is anecdotal based on Reddit forums, and your state may be different.

upvotersfortruth · 2025-09-14T04:01:19+00:00

In most states, child support is considered the right of the children to receive and so any departure from guidelines must be justified. Alimony and property division: the judge will likely uphold your freedom to contract. Exceptions being, if it is manifestly unfair, if only one of you has a lawyer, or one of you was coerced, or one of you can’t understand the agreement.

TL;DR - any agreement without child support being included properly is not an agreement at all. You should come up with two senarios, one where the judge allows no child support and one based on guideline support.

Title	How often do judges overrule agreements a couple makes for themselves
Author	FriedCrew9160
Upvotes	5
Comments	10
Date	September 14, 2025 1:38 AM UTC (11 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1ngen10/how_often_do_judges_overrule_agreements_a_couple/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/how-often-do-judges-overrule-agreements-a-couple.1561937 https://theredarchive.com/post/1561937

Comments

So u have 2 Paths