I scored someone way above my SMV and now I am in a dire situation...

Braaaaaapp · 2015-11-07T23:11:29+00:00

My advice? Forget about her. I know it sucks, I'm sure 99% of us on this site have been there but you just have to forget about her. You should be reading the side bar on the main page too a lot of these things you're talking about should be pretty obvious as to what the answer is. And as far as the self improvement goes, you should do that because you want to better yourself and live a better life, not because you want some slut from your hometown back, that's the wrong motivation. Never make a girl your motivation for doing anything, do it because YOU want to do it.

Nothing_Gazes_Back · 2015-11-07T23:13:49+00:00

You care too much. By doing this you already lose. Try again.

forgetful_storytellr · 2015-11-08T01:10:37+00:00

Take it from a guy who has been there.

She is replaceable. She's not unique or special like you think she is right now.

Looks fade, behavior is relative, and it changes on a person to person basis. Your frame dictates the pace and demeanor of your interactions with others.

Monk mode/ SMV focus is the best option for you right now. Get better, and you'll see how quickly other, new and even BETTER girls start competing for your attention.

But for now, every day you are lamenting is a day of self improvement lost.

stickfiguresk · 2015-11-07T23:16:08+00:00

Why am I not alpha enough for her to still want me from far away?

It doesn't work like that for anybody ever.

How could she go from loving me and saying I was her everything to almost complete indifference so quickly? My brain is doing a number on me.

Calm the fuck down. It's time to grow up.

It fucking hurts. She's all I think about.

It passes.

So, I have decided the best thing possible for me is to go monk mode

No, you've decided the best thing is to crawl into a corner and lick your wounds. You had a clean break when you moved. Go fuck other women.

and just increase my SMV as much as possible as fast as possible. I want to start eating clean and lifting heavy. I've ordered some books to read and I want to hit work super hard and try to made strides in my career.

Your mind jumped to that because it's what you should already be doing. "Monk mode" isn't always healthy, in fact, it's usually an excuse for dudes to stay in their comfort zone. LEAVE YOUR COMFORT ZONE, DUMMIE!

Get off social media, disable your facebook. Don't post about it. Just disable and move on. It will only be detrimental to your progress for the next 6 months. It's mostly just a vanity circle jerk anyways, but now it's also giving you an outlet to stock your woman that's moved on. Get rid of it.

plein_old · 2015-11-07T23:20:54+00:00

"just increase my SMV as much as possible as fast as possible"

The first step is to stop being so desperate. Monk mode means you relax and learn what is important to you, aside from other people's validation. You can't control life, but you can learn to dance with it. Cheers.

nofapls · 2015-11-07T23:21:58+00:00

I want you to read your post again and then read it through a true RP lense. We've all been here at one point so I'm not going to criticize your reaction to the situation. People grow apart in these situations it doesn't matter how alpha you are. Let me give you some thoughts:

1) Read the side bar at /r/theredpill

2) You need to break it off with this girl, you think she is fucking two other dudes? You're making yourself a cuckold and that isn't redpill, turn and run.

3) Getting your SMV up in a relationship will only have an affect if she was seeing you all the time, if you're growing apart chances are she won't and already doesn't give a fuck bout what you're doing.

4) I'm not saying you shouldn't go monk mode but don't do it while you have any connection to this girl. End things, get over it, lift, go out and do shit and get a hobby this is your best bet at increasing your social status in a new city. Otherwise you'll be hung up on this girl and a sad lonely guy jerking it and crying 24/7. I don't want that for you.

Again read the side bar, I don't know how long you've been on the pill or thought you were but if you had redpill mentality this situation would not come as a surprise to you.

Good luck

GraphicSeniorNudity · 2015-11-07T23:27:36+00:00

What do you mean? If you're gonna break up break up. LDR drift is to be expected, but don't throw in the towel before the first punch is thrown.

First things first you're way too attached. This is a good example of the difference between red pill theory and red pill in practice. It's like boxing, everybody has a plan until they get hit. Knock down that pedestal.

Second of all, your self esteem is shit. Nobody falls backwards into a 9 month relationship with a girl out of their league. If it was a drunken 1 night stand, maybe. But give yourself some credit here man.

Third, as someone who has moved to a new town and found themselves alone, you are gonna go through homesickness. You're gonna try to reconnect with your friends back home. You're going to want to fight change and settle back into the comfort you knew. Do not do this. Get out in your new city and do stuff. Go to bars or events, pursue your hobbies, find a way to set up shop in your new place.

The anxiety of moving to a new place is gonna fuck with your mind. Especially considering you have this LDR to worry about, and that you're approaching it from such a shitty state of mind. Your stress levels are clouding your thoughts, sabotaging your sense of worth.

Now all this is not to say you're wrong about the eventual end of this LDR. Maybe it will end, but don't assume it's over. Wait for that final whistle.

IF you know for a fact that it is over, then you gotta make a clean break. Delete her from facebook, contacts, social media, etc, stop torturing yourself.

Then you gotta work on bringing her back down to planet earth. You can like someone without them being some godly figure that has no equal. You ever have a best friend as a kid? And did that friendship ever end? Did you make new best friends? Did you stalk that old friend and keep trying to make friends with them again? Or did you just move on with life?

FrameWalker · 2015-11-07T23:29:29+00:00

This chart will make you feel better
http://dalrock.files.wordpress.com/2013/08/smv_curve1.jpg

On average the quality of women I've banged has steadily increased as I've gotten older.

You're value is about to increase and the quality of women in your life will increase as well. The woman you're with now will eventually become old and unattractive and it will happen before your peak. She would be a burden and now you're free of it.

Lift heavy and get big. Make sure to eat enough.

veeswayrp · 2015-11-08T05:04:08+00:00

I feel for you brotha. Been there. All I can say is keep working on your self FOR YOUR SELF and no one else. I honestly wish you the best!

empatheticapathetic · 2015-11-08T09:41:33+00:00

"She was never yours, it was just your turn"

Longschlongjonbond · 2015-11-09T00:37:52+00:00

First thing, just by reading the title, your putting her on the pedestal. Your are a man, and as a consequence are better than half the human population. That girl is only better than you if you think she is.

Where did I go wrong?

I'm going to take a wild guess and say that you probably thought this girl was your unicorn. Little by little you started to display more beta-esque tendencies and started doing shit you've never done with any of the other girls. Maybe you started giving her flowers, or started giving her shit for no reason, or maybe you started to do some of the work around the house. In the end it doesn't matter, and she slowly saw you as unattractive.

How could she go from loving me and saying I was her everything to almost complete indifference so quickly?

Don't listen to what women say, pay attention to what women do. A quick little tip to help you with what they say is put right now at the end of her sentence. " I love you" would then be "I love you right now." Women are ruled by emotions, not by logic, so her "love" goes to whoever can push the right buttons. And if her SMV is as high as you think it is, best believe that her button has been getting smashed by a lot of different guys.

I currently feel like I will never get someone as good as her again

Jesus Christ fucking stop. I understand that as a man your thinking gets messed up when it you think you are in love, but realize, you are about to waste valuable time on a woman. This goes back to what you think. I forget who said this quote, but it went something like:

** The man who says he can, and the man who says he can't, are both usually right**

I think this quote is spot on, except for one tiny change I would make.

** The man who believes he can, and the man who believes he can't, are both usually right**

If Alexander the Great didn't believe that he was the fucking greatest general to ever live, how far do you think he would have came in his military campaigns? If you believe that the women around you have higher SMV than you, are worth more than you, are better than you, then guess what? You are going to act like they are better than you. A strange phenomenon happens between a man and a woman, as a if the man believes he is the dominant of the group, the woman will submit. However, if the man believes that this woman is the most beautiful girl in his life and that she's a special jewel that he can't find anywhere else... well you can tell me first hand what the result is.

(Note: This isn't always the same between men. Take a submissive man and a dominant (alpha and beta), then the dominant man will be the de facto alpha of the group. Take two dominant men however, then you get competition. Usually what ensues is either a fight/pissing contest, or a battle of wills that eventually decides who will be the alpha male, OR both men will treat each other like the alpha male. I went a little too off topic, so moving on.)

So, I have decided the best thing possible for me is to go monk mode and just increase my SMV as much as possible as fast as possible. I want to start eating clean and lifting heavy. I've ordered some books to read and I want to hit work super hard and try to made strides in my career.

You don't necessarily have to go back into monk mode, but just forget about her. The best way to forget about her is to:

A) Go pursue other girls that you genuinely like/ think is cute. B) Go work on yourself, and start making money. Good Body + Money/Power = Lots of women.

Again, it's all about what you think, your perception of yourself warps how people around you will percept you. How you think directly affects your body language and your own moods. Just go up to a club, talk to a girl, then push for her number or whatever you feel like. Building up your confidence is going to take baby steps. Building your abundance mentality is necessary to help you forget about this girl. And for the love of God, it's like you never even touched the sidebar. Read up on Abundance/Scarcity mentality and reread your own post, and you will cringe at yourself. When you do, that's when you know you've made progress.

Any advice? Specific books? Good music for not feeling so down? Adjustments to my plan? Thanks for any advice. The struggle is real

Listen to lots of rap music. Nothing hardcore, just the mainstream shit that everybody listens to. It should get you feeling pretty lit. And no, the struggle is not real. It's in your mind.

[deleted] · 2015-11-09T20:45:00+00:00

Is this plan solid?

Seems like one, but it won't do shit if you don't work on your inner game and realize that this oneitis is the biggest thing affecting you right now, think about other women, set goals, work towards them.

Title	I scored someone way above my SMV and now I am in a dire situation...
Author	alphawidowedalpha
Upvotes	9
Comments	31
Date	November 7, 2015 10:58 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/3rxxj5/i_scored_someone_way_above_my_smv_and_now_i_am_in/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/i-scored-someone-way-above-my-smv-and-now-i-am-in.156266 https://theredarchive.com/post/156266

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