I'm three months out now from the end of a 20 year marriage/relationship that I got blindsided ending, and I wanted to tell everyone here thanks for info. I am getting a lot better everyday, though it's a marathon not a race.

I'm still pretty banged up emotionally at times (though I have a girlfriend now that I think may have real potential) but the messages here have been so helpful, I'm going to stick around and help other people after I get back on my feet as a payback for the help I got.

One piece of advice I'll share, if you write a big long "manifesto" email that you think is "great" run it through chatgpt and ask it what it thinks. It was able to remove A LOT cringe and edit it down for me to something that made me look much more dignified. It was kind of funny, it said "you offered sex and alcohol these things may push her further away" which I didn't even see it that way but yeah, I'm regarded lol.

It also offered to write me a final email to send if I never get a response from this one. It's somehow reassuring to know that the last message to her is already in my drafts ready to go, and that the last way I will be communicating with her is not begging or pathetic, but kind, positive, and REASONABLE.

Dust yourself off guys, hit the gym or put down the cheeseburger in my case, and put yourself out there when you feel comfortable. Having someone call you handsome after getting no compliments for years is like lightning hitting you. My wife had a separate living room for years and never sat with me anymore literally, and now my girlfriend can just put a few fingers in my hair above my ear sitting next to me and I melt. It gets better men!!!