I believe my wife of 18 years has a mental illness that has gotten worse over the course of our marriage and is really getting bad with perimenopause. She doesn’t believe there is an issue and will not consider any type of therapy. We have 3 kids together.

I sacrificed my happiness for 18 years and worked hard to hold my family together. My relationship with my wife started out good but has deteriorated over 18 years and now we’re pretty much roommates. I don’t consider her a partner anymore because she has no respect for my life’s goals.

My kids are starting to be affected by her mental illness. Not to mention my wife’s impulsivity has spent ourselves into significant debt. I finally had enough of looking the other way and opened up to my family and a couple of close friends about the true nature of our situation.

I’m tired of being the primary income, maintaining the household, having to manage my wife’s mental state, being the rock for my kids, and trying to prevent her from spending us into financial ruin. I just can’t do it anymore.

I started seeing a therapist several weeks ago both to get myself in order and for advice on how to deal with my wife. Next step is to meet with a lawyer to learn about my legal rights. Frankly, I’ve been sick to my stomach ever since I scheduled the lawyer consultation. It signifies that things are now real.

Does anyone have any advice on any questions I should ask the lawyer during the initial consultation?

My wife has no idea that I’ve been driven to this point and I’m trying to figure out how best to handle that situation. She is the mother of my kids and I want her to do well if only for our children’s well being. Unfortunately she struggles with difficult conversations which has contributed to our current situation. Any suggestions on how to proceed with my wife?