I hired a lawyer last week to initiate a divorce with my (46m) wife (48F) of 18 years. We have three kids together (15,12,10). Our marriage has devolved over the years and now we are essentially coparenting roommates.

I’m working on getting a new living arrangement in order before I pull the trigger and tell my wife. I will be ready end of February. Luckily my retired parents are in a position where they can help me setup a situation that will work for a 50/50 custody arrangement.

About my wife, I suspect she suffers from an undiagnosed mental illness that stems from unresolved childhood drama. She has no emotional control and significant anger issues that have gotten worse over our marriage. She also has a spending problems and has racked up a lot of debt.

I have to get out now if I want to have the hope of a retirement. We have enough equity in our house to payoff our debt. Our net worth is essentially $0 right now.

I finally admitted to myself the full extent of my situation last summer. I opened up to my family about the full extent of the situation. I started therapy in September to make sure I’m thinking right and I’m not missing anything. I came to the realization that my marriage cannot be salvaged in December.

I’ve made my share of mistakes over our marriage and take responsibility for that. However, my goal right now is creating a safe environment for my children. All too often we have to walk on egg shells around my wife to avoid her anger. That is not fair for my kids.

One positive note, we are essentially broke so the only thing we have to workout is custody arrangements. My wife is an emotional mess so the divorce will be a roller coaster. I hope that all my effort in making a safe home for the kids help them endure it.