I’m not sure how to word this; I’m trying to learn what I like in a partner, and how to find the one for me.

Sometimes when I meet an attractive woman in my general extended social circle and age group, I flirt and socialise, often because I’d like to go out with them. Not all the time, I do have self control. But I guess it’s something where I’m not sure what traits I like in a woman that are suitable for a partner according to me.

I don’t enjoy this, I feel like I have low standards and can’t genuinely enjoy female companionship. I do have some close girl friends, but there’s a context in which our friendship was formed that mentally blocked me from seeing them as a potential partner. With women I didn’t initially know, that context is missing. I feel like the guy people complain about when they say men only want one thing, and it sucks.

Men who’ve found their “one”, how do I learn what my “one” is, how do I change my mentality?