If a man with options will cheat because he can, a man with no options is only with you because he's desperate

ComfortableJeans · 2025-12-16T14:21:02+00:00

This all operates from the false premis that all men are inherently disloyal. Which is objectively false.

I can say first hand that I've been presented with options to step outside of my past relationships, and met each of them with repugnancy and letting my partner know about X, Y or Z going on, with the intention of being fully open with them.

Bad people are only as loyal as their options.

I would be hesitant to flip it on its head, as bad people are often very good at hiding that fact.

Both Men Bad! and Choose Better! accusations aren't used to be thoughtful, understand or contemplative of issues, but to be spiteful and dismissive.

The only flaw in the thinking here is not recognising the purpose of each of these.

peaceful_pastry · 2025-12-16T18:03:23+00:00

Well this is the exact reason you should value quality of character over all else. It instantly solves these problems.

matthedev · 2025-12-16T15:52:35+00:00

Would you steal a candy bar just because the retail clerk isn't looking right then? Most people wouldn't because they have basic morals and self-control. I'm not sure why people would throw out all morals for something more important than a candy bar.

SwimmingTheme3736 · 2025-12-16T14:43:43+00:00

Men with options will cheat if they want to. I know my husband has options but he has never given me any reason to belive he will cheat so I will trust him explicitly

Luminous_Face_42 · 2025-12-16T18:17:22+00:00

or maybe he's in love with you and you make him happy and have great sex with him all the time so he doesn't even want to hook up with anybody else idk.

love is real sorry u cant feel it.

wtknight · 2025-12-16T18:12:03+00:00

A man with “no options” who is dating theoretically doesn’t exist. If he can attract one woman, then he can attract another woman of equal attractiveness. The idea of a man who can only attract one woman in the entire world is kind of a logical absurdity.

There are plenty of men who can’t attract anybody, though, which is why no woman should ever be with a man who doesn’t attract her in any way whatsoever.

wild_squirrel_ · 2025-12-16T20:41:55+00:00

I always think that same thing when I hear this argument. So many of the men needing a “low n woman” because they couldn’t get laid in college sound like they’d cheat the instant they have the chance.

avocadolanche3000 · 2025-12-16T14:13:43+00:00

Thinking that everyone who can cheat will is such cope from people who are optimistic that even one person will like them enough to stay with them.

TheOneWhoThinketh · 2025-12-16T14:20:44+00:00

There is always the option to walk away. People cheat when they are too desperate to give up the relationship but also unsatisfied by it.

People will cheat in order to get what they are desperate for. Men and women who got into the relationship desperate for sex will cheat if they don't get it. Men and women who are desperate for emotional validation will cheat if they don't get it in the relationship.

Anybody can cheat if what they want is cheap enough and what they offer is cheap enough. Men and women who aren't desperate will be willing to give up the relationship if it doesn't satisfy them.

pwnkage · 2025-12-18T05:04:29+00:00

I'd rather be with a man who doesn't cheat even if he has options rather than be with a man who doesn't cheat because he thinks he coudn't pull any women. Like the former is a choice and the latter is just embarrassing.

Embarrassed-Dog-819 · 2025-12-18T11:25:19+00:00

This is sort of true for everyone don’t you think

Vlad_The_Great_2 · 2025-12-16T17:39:14+00:00

This is just a post bashing man. All men are bad and will cheat, I might as well chase Chad. Not all men are bad or will cheat. Some obviously are. If every women in town wants one specific man, of course that single man has more opportunities than most other men in regards to dating or casual sex. Most people don’t do things just because they can.

Independent-Mail-227 · 2025-12-16T14:09:24+00:00

So why not flip this idea on its head and talk about the other side?

Because it remove the idea of incentives

he's not a good partner, you're just the first person to approach him.

So he can't be a good partner just because he don't have options?

mashedturnip · 2025-12-16T15:01:15+00:00

“If”

SeemedGood · 2025-12-16T18:38:48+00:00

Your logic presumes that women choose men sexually on the basis of whether or not they would be good partners, and fails because of that presumption.

That a man has no or fewer options does not mean that he would be a bad partner.

Livid-Log7463 · 2025-12-16T18:44:53+00:00

The problem here is that “moderately attractive to them” is how the vast majority of men who are able to partner do so, men don’t have the options to hope for anything better, so someone “moderately attractive to them” and willing would be an unattainable fantasy, even someone not attractive to them and willing would be rare enough that it would be akin to finding a “soul mate” for someone who isn’t forced to be desperate.

Blacktransjanny · 2025-12-16T18:58:06+00:00

Men usually get so few options to cheat that saying no is easy the handful of times it happens. If men at large had such a vast array of opportunities and people to cheat with they would.

cromulent_weasel · 2025-12-16T20:06:27+00:00

What does it mean for a man to have options? Did he cultivate them?

Because to me that's walking down the pathway to infidelity and cheating.

On average there have to be 7 different points of failure before an aeroplane crashes and kills everyone onboard. 'Cultivating options' is a cheating pathway failure even if you haven't cheated yet.

TrumpFucksKidz · 2025-12-16T20:47:50+00:00

Men with options might exercise those options. It isn't required.

AreOut · 2025-12-16T21:37:52+00:00

every man with $100 in his pocket has the option to cheat

also an attractive man clearly suggesting he is not interested in a LTR is not cheating if he puts a girl in a situationship and explores other options, her imagination that she is in a relatinoship with him doesn't make it a reality

BandemicBuffering · 2025-12-17T00:05:30+00:00

I think the abundance of options and lack of options would have to be pretty extreme on each side for this to be generally true. Men's upbringing and adolescent-level experience with women add many shades of gray.

Expert_Profession951 · 2025-12-16T14:12:21+00:00

Great post that shows the extreme flaws in Redditors’ logic on this sub

Biscuitsbrxh · 2025-12-16T22:20:15+00:00

Yes most men are weak people. Most people in general are weak. Most people don’t do damage because they aren’t rich or strong or powerful enough to pose that kind of threat.

IgorXY · 2025-12-16T14:36:07+00:00

The "men with options are bad partners because he can cheat, and therefore will", is a common sentiment here, and that women should "pick better".

That's not a common sentiment here, at least not in this representation. By this logic all women cheat or will cheat. There are certain traits that are attractive to women that correlate with possible cheating. It's weird to deny this but also weird to think of it as some sort of universal rule that works 100%.

So why not flip this idea on its head and talk about the other side?

Why not? But it's not a gotcha that you think. There are types of abuse when abuser pushes their partner to become less attractive ("oh you are working out? you want to leave me? please stop"), there are insecurities in men who are not successful ("do I like her or do I just want someone", "what is it different with me now? am I being settled for?").

There could be so many interesting debates, but you took a weird statement with zero examples of it being used, made the most ridiculous interpretation of it so it's hard to argue against it, flipped it around like a 500 IQ 5d chess move. It's not a tik tok, brother.

jorts-enthusiast · 2025-12-16T14:17:12+00:00

What do you mean by “options?” Are people who are conventionally attractive considered having “options” by default because they’re conventionally attractive? Because people don’t just start banging random people whenever they want unless they’re phenomenally shitty.

This sounds like you’re trying to frame all conventionally attractive people as bad partners.

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Clean-Luck6428 · 2025-12-16T17:39:30+00:00

I feel like if you’re a woman who has these thoughts then that’s just confirmation that you’re an undesirable partner

As soon as you commit to a mating strategy that assumes the opposite gender is disingenuous, then you’re no longer able to have authentic romantic connection.

These types of coping mechanisms are for people who lack the emotional resilience to have functioning long term relationships. These are the people who get burned and then define their personality as a woe as me narrative. Don’t date these people unless you want a toxic life

Popeoath · 2025-12-16T23:33:26+00:00

OR, get this, there are psychological differences between these men dictating both how many options they have AND their desire to cheat.

I.e. non-cheating personality traits are correlated with low-option personality traits. Timid submissive considerate guy is both less likely to have options and less likely to be disloyal in general.

But putting that idea aside...

So why not flip this idea on its head and talk about the other side? A man with no options is only with you because he's desperate, and will go for anyone who gives him any attention. Ergo, he's not a good partner, you're just the first person to approach him. And if, by any chance, he gets more options, what makes you think he won't leave?

Even if we assumed the two were totally equal, it is simply less likely that the pick better guy would have other options. A lot of the dudes go without sex or relationships for years. Why would that magically change?

If you've never had a partner, and you're desperate for any kind of affection from someone who is moderately attractive enough to you, you will treat your partner as a placeholder, and not respect them as their own individual, human, fully-realised being.

Proof? It's also possible that the individual had a bunch of love building up until they were finally accepted as a person and would be endlessly grateful for it. This is just theories pulled out of asses at this point.

But the stupid generalisations and rhetoric on this sub can be exposed by showing how the flip side is also "valid".

You don't have the stats to prove equivalency, every study on the matter shows that promiscuity and infidelity are correlated. Obviously many promiscuous people do not cheat, but the portion that does is always greater than the portion of chaste people who do.

If a man with options will cheat because he can, a man with no options is only with you because he's desperate

Comments

They still got cheated on!?

Title	If a man with options will cheat because he can, a man with no options is only with you because he's desperate
Author	CauchyRiemann04
Upvotes	46
Comments	217
Date	December 16, 2025 2:05 PM UTC (7 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1po2ryr/if_a_man_with_options_will_cheat_because_he_can_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/if-a-man-with-options-will-cheat-because-he-can-a.1568988 https://theredarchive.com/post/1568988