With any relationship, I avoid ever suggesting a handjob. When the girl I'm with doesn't want to have sex, or doesn't want to give a blowjob, and suggests to downgrade to a handjob, it's feels kind of pathetic and sad. I'd rather not do anything at all.

However, a standalone handjob is another thing. A quick handjob before going to a party, because she just put her make-up on, where she is a bit more dominant and makes you beg to finish, or something like that (maybe a bit too many details, haha). That's actually enjoyable.

I'm trying to get over my fear of the scenario where a pity handjob is used as a downgrade, and find a way to correctly introduce handjobs—the fun type of handjob, that is enjoyable (for both).

Anyone successfully done this? How did you do this?