Hi ladies,

Five months ago, I went through a very hard breakup. (I wrote here back then as well) Since then I decided to focus on leveling myself up. I travelled around all summer, but now that the days are shorter and colder, I have started to focus more on my job and doing sports. I am also going to a lot of meditation classes, recovery boot camps etc. I have also built an amazing community through social work. I already have most amazing family and friends. I am really so happy with my life. Although I am 29 and want to start a family as soon as possible, I didn't want to start dating actively again, because a couple of months after the breakup is still very fresh imo. I just thought that if the right person comes along, it will happen.

And it did.

One and a half months after the breakup, I met someone in the middle of the lake while I was stand-up paddleboarding. We chatted for about an hour while paddling but I was still very sad at the time and didn't want to get involved with anyone. He wasn't pushy at all, I didn't want to give him my number, so we agreed to leave this "encounter" as a magical memory.

However, something very strange happened about a month ago... I saw the very same guy at my office and we were both so shocked. It turned out that he had come to have lunch with the CEO of my company, as he was designing the new mountain house that the CEO was having built (he's an architect, 40 years old btw). We couldn't believe it, and this time I gave him my phone number, and he didn't write me anything. But when I was leaving work that evening, I found him waiting downstairs with flowers in his hands. I would usually consider such behavior to be love bombing and be very cautious, but since life felt like it had a surprise in store for us, I decided to go along with this romantic movie. Nevertheless, I haven't fully committed to this new thing yet. My priorities are my job, my fitness, my plans with friends and if necessary even the laundry I need to do at home. He hasn't rushed anything in this process. He's very understanding, romantic and supportive. I can really take things slowly, because I still think it's too early for a relationship for me, but I'd never turn a guy like him down, I have never met a man like him and I can see that he'll be patient with me.

We're not in a relationship whatsoever, we haven't slept together, we've only been on four or five dates and seen each other seven or eight times. So we don't have a 'label' yet we are exclusive, and we're in a position where we'll be boyfriend and girlfriend the moment I say yes. He's been ready. But something terrible happened in meantime: he lost his father unexpectedly the other day. I don't know how to support him, but to be very honest: I lost two very close family members (caregivers) a year ago and still haven't fully recovered, that's why I don't want to get involved in the grieving process of someone I don't know very well yet, even if he can be the one. I know it sounds selfish, but in the life I'm trying to rebuild, I want to prioritize my own needs no matter what. I paid a heavy price for being a selfless woman without boundaries. Right now, I'm not in the right mental state to help someone else through their grieving process. But I'm very unsure about how to approach him and what to do in this situation... I don't know how to explain this to him. Do I even have to explain myself anyways?

What would you suggest? I appreciate your insights...