Hey,

i am very average guy (actually most of my life i thought i am below average and my family members would thought as well).

And i wanted to share what were some of my problems and what helped.

Something you would find here could be valuable, something you are going to probably disagree with. I will go with the stuff which was most important for ME.

So here is it:
1. I hated my body, i didn't liked myself in mirror
- I started going into gym for multiple years and i still keep doing it. Strongly recommend for everybody. My coach was also my big role model and he helped with my masculine energy and confidence.

  1. I was not confident and i hated myself.
    This is very long journey. But starting from most valuable : gym, therapy, meditation, motivation speeches (Tony Robbins, David Goggins etc.), self-affirmations, success in my field of work.

  2. I was not very good with first impression and girl took my directly into friend zone
    - I improved my clothes (i always ask friend which is pretty and has style to help me, and go into shop with me). I increased my social value and how funny/engaging i am.

  3. I couldn't talk to people, in group of people i always waited for "moment" to talk and than fumbled.
    - I pressured myself and started to talk to everybody everywhere. I was so anxious. But most people are actually so happy to talk about themselves. So i always ask something bartender, people in elevator, old people walking etc. Most important is to have this as "quest" and talk to atleast 3 people everyday. You can say even hi, and its enough.

- Later i started to present at multiple events for free. Local charity, communities etc. And afterwards i attended local presentation class. I could see that i was now much more captivating and now people were actually listening to me. I strongly recommend your local toastmasters, its totally free, there you can practice and people give you feedback.

  1. I had very low social value in face of girls but also social circles, i was never invited anywhere & texted to.
    - I focused a lot on work and improved profesionally and also my career. Because i was not invited anywhere, i started to organise events myself, going to cinema, bowling etc. And attended everything. Literally. If there is karaoke i am going, if there is concert i am going. I become part of multiple communities such as hikers, business comunities, charity work, where i met people and then invited them to my social gatherings.

  2. I was often overthinking and anxious, i had a lot of FOMO after seeing stories on IG from friends.
    - I just deleted all my social media and i just use youtube to learn/inspire myself, read this reddit sub and listen to podcasts. I strongly recommend good looking loser (they have some podcast on yt), rsd tyler for pick up.

  3. I went with a girl outside but couldn't get her to kiss me, or attracted to me. We kept being friends, while i wanted to have something romantic with her.
    - I focus her on my energy mostly. Here i would borrow concept from book which i recommend from Scott Adams (How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big), which is focus on what gives you energy and try to do more of that (simplified). So some stuff is very draining for me. So i opt for stuff which i really love and i invite people there, my work is energising me, i try to spend time around people which energies me etc. I track it in the journal. I also love to do self-affirmations and i love Tony Robbins, he has very good exercises to improve energy. Besides i attend a lot of meditation workshops and i listen to positive music. Besides i ignore negative news (fox, cnn,reddit) and i try to block it everywhere i can.

- Second part is how to translate that energy into connection. And here what helped a lot was learning how to dance, where you can really feel and guide woman in her feminine energy. I think the practice translate's really well into dates.

  1. I was not succesfull i didn't had social value and i didn't had money.
    - This is probably area where i worked most on. I strongly recommend for you to find good paying job and have succesful career and purpose in the life. When you have purpose woman, men and everyone around you can feel that. I think its totally okay to start at this journey for your own benefit, but as you improve you would feel the need for something higher.

- If i would start now i would go into intership into some high-growing company. Do as many courses (no dating, but professional skills) as you can. Keep networking and finding better opportunities. And hone your presentation skills as in time of AI is really big differentatior.

Some book authors i strongly recommend: Tim Ferris - Tools of Titans (amazing book which i always go back to), Rich Dad Poor Dad, Tony Robbins

Some podcast i love: Naval Ravikant - How to get rich (very good one, i listened to this multiple times), Good Looking Loser, Vinh Giang (presentation skills, all free on YT), Yoga Nidra

I don't consider myself as guru, coach or whatever. I think i am just average guy, which is working a lot on improving myself. Most of resources online are often contradictory so it's often very difficult to find right way. So i hope atleast one piece of info could be valuable for someone. It would save me a lot of time.