Getting divorced, not sure how I feel about it

NewPerformance7662 · 2026-02-13T00:45:27+00:00

It takes two to tango, but only one to file for divorce.

I know it’s easier said than done, but when she says something like “we have nothing in common,” that’s usually her justifying the decision in her own mind. It helps her feel certain about a choice she’s likely been sitting on for a while.

These things don’t usually come out of nowhere. Most of the time, it’s been thought through long before it’s said out loud — sometimes just waiting for the right moment.

Now it’s time to get to work. Focus on yourself and those kiddos. Control what you can control, and start building forward.

dday_throwaway3 · 2026-02-08T16:33:31+00:00

She didn't "forget" about the third therapy session.

Marriage counseling is a WOMBAT: waste of money brains and time. Why? Because genuine desire cannot be negotiated.

Think about it: How is seeing a counselor together going to improve anything? The marriage counselor industry success rate speaks for itself. It's also female-centric, because the moment the woman stops attending the counseling is over. Women attend counseling to validate their viewpoints and put the burden of the relationship on their husband to fix.

The point of marriage isn’t to endure it. There is no prize for making a miserable marriage last a long time. Marriage is supposed to be a partnership cemented by attraction, affection, respect and love that you enter into to make it easier for both of you get through life together. It’s like you become a team of horses, and you both help pull the wagon, and it’s easier with two than with one. But being yoked in a team with a partner that isn’t pulling is worse than having no partner at all.

Marriage requires two committed people working together in lockstep. Divorce only takes one dissatisfied spouse.

You have your own attorney, right? Because you cannot share an attorney with your wife.

MinuteStatistician83 · 2026-02-08T16:21:49+00:00

This kind of divorce messes with your head precisely because it doesn’t fit the story we’re taught. There’s no big event you can point to and say ‘that’s when it ended’. No explosion. Just a slow quiet drift.

A lot of people grow up thinking divorce only happens when something goes wrong. Cheating. Abuse. Constant fighting. So when it happens without those things, it can feel illegitimate somehow. Like you’re not allowed to be upset, or not allowed to feel relieved either.

From what you describe, it sounds less like nothing happened and more like life slowly emptied out. Separate beds. No romance. No dates. Therapy that didn’t really happen. That’s still loss, even if no one behaved badly.

I think the mixed feelings make sense. Some days excited, some days stunned. That’s often what happens when a marriage ends by erosion rather than collapse. Your head can understand it while your body is still catching up.

The part about therapy sticks with me. Two sessions, then she forgot and never rebooked. That’s quiet information. Not dramatic, but it tells you something about where her energy was.

You don’t need to decide how you ‘should’ feel. There isn’t a correct emotional response to a clean, civil divorce. Confusion is actually a pretty honest reaction.

It might help to give yourself permission to hold more than one truth at once. That the marriage wasn’t working. That it still matters. That you might feel lighter sometimes and grief-stricken other times. None of that cancels the rest out.

This doesn’t sound like denial or avoidance. It sounds like someone standing in the middle of a life change that doesn’t come with a clear emotional map yet. That takes time to settle.

survivingtheyellowbr · 2026-02-08T05:47:58+00:00

Count your blessings- sounds like she’s also agreed that it’s no working .

Part ways amicably and get it done soon.

Then go live your best life.

ComputationalPoet · 2026-02-08T02:04:15+00:00

You will feel better on the other side. Trust me, there are things that you don't even think about that are not great about this situation. Life is too short to just survive. Look forward to the opportunity to have great experiences and emotions. You will also be in a better place for your kids and the time you have with them, while less (assuming custody split) will be higher quality.

You read about some really rough situations that people have to deal with, but even if its amicable and chill, it can still be a really good thing. Its awesome if you can get along with your ex and coparent well. heck even be friendly with an ex for the kids sake. But you need more in your life than just an ambivalent roommate.

Title	Getting divorced, not sure how I feel about it
Author	Turbulent-Town-5291
Upvotes	12
Comments	7
Date	February 8, 2026 1:45 AM UTC (6 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1qyvxnf/getting_divorced_not_sure_how_i_feel_about_it/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/getting-divorced-not-sure-how-i-feel-about-it.1572978 https://theredarchive.com/post/1572978

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