How do you even meet people to date?

AngelFire_3_14156 · 2026-03-14T16:25:14+00:00

I feel like this is probably one of the most common themes on this sub, so I'm going to suggest something that's maybe a bit unusual.

First, average looks are fine. Work on looking cute, feminine and above all, a pleasant personality goes a long way.

Second, what kind of guy are you looking for? Do you know where that type of guy hangs out and what they like to do? Remember, you go to Australia to find a Koala in the wild, not Alaska. So once you figure that out, try going to those events or hang out in those environments.

In any case, good luck!

Edit: Avoid bars and clubs. You're likely to only find disappointments and regrets.

Jenneapolis · 2026-03-14T15:05:14+00:00

Say more about your experience on dating apps. Are you initiating conversations and asking them questions? Have you gone out on dates and how have those gone?

I married my husband from dating apps and every serious long-term relationship I had from 25 on was from the apps so I never quite understand when people say it’s impossible to meet someone there.

Mom_Herself · 2026-03-14T19:52:12+00:00

I met my husband at my friends wedding. I attended the wedding and reception by myself, knowing no one but the bride. I stayed through the awkward meal (this was before cell phones) and when the music started I was still there for my husband to ask me to dance. I think he had consumed enough beer during dinner to work up his nerve. So my advice is go do things by yourself; go to the gym, take a hobby class, grocery shop. If I ever end up widowed, I plan to wander around grocery stores with beer and steaks in my cart. That seems to give men my age a reason to chat with me. Also, a hobby that requires visiting Home Depot could be good. A woman making a large lumber purchase seems to intrigue some men.

roxelay · 2026-03-14T13:44:10+00:00

I totally get what you mean! My experience was the same, as soon as I dropped the idea of dating, let it go, and focused on myself (almost went into nun mode, haha), guys started approaching me! I remember getting rid of all my dating apps and focusing on activities I loved: visiting museums, taking knitting classes, going to movies by myself, working out every day, hitting up yoga classes, and shopping at Macy's. I did all of this just for me, not for external approval or acknowledgment. And guess what? As soon as I truly stopped thinking about dating and chasing it, it started coming to me. It’s amazing how that shift in mindset can change everything.

tabula--rasa- · 2026-03-14T19:20:25+00:00

it depends on your area and interests, i’m in a large city and i met mine at an art gallery opening. I suggest finding local events that correspond to your hobbies, as I personally have always been wary of dating apps. It’s important to remember that most of the people on there aren’t looking for anything real.

shy_shy-gurl · 2026-03-14T18:50:13+00:00

I've found all dating apps are a waste of time. I found my boyfriend at church and we've been going stronger for a year now. Do not focus on having every little thing in common but some common things go a long way. Have firm boundaries and a nice personality goes a long way.

ashdjdkdkd · 2026-03-14T09:47:55+00:00

[permanently deleted]

InevitableKiwi5776 · 2026-03-14T12:31:57+00:00

Read The Surrendered Single by Laura Doyle

Dance-Bird · 2026-03-18T03:44:10+00:00

Don’t worry about your looks, just worry about how to make them see your love energy. Back when single, I gave up on dating apps. I met plenty of men at events. Volunteer. Do sports teams. Meetups. Do outdoor activities. Music. Have fun. Smile at someone who looks like they are a nice guy, and look in their eyes. If they seem genuinely friendly and well-meaning (who cares how they look, honestly, as long as at least average and healthy!) Ask them questions you might be curious about… then listen to see if they are worth your time. Offer to loan them something small, or send them info on something. It’s a risk worth taking. If a mutual acquaintance, ask around if the person is single. If not, most men pick up on “so what does your wife/girlfriend think about it?” (If they answer that question pretend you side with wife/girlfriend and back away slowly] If not: “Oh you are single? Yeah I would love to send you the link/photo I mentioned about [insert conversation topic]. What’s your number?” [enter number in phone, text later that evening or the next day]. Kindness and projecting loving energy is better than good looks for picking up guys, and attracts the right kind of guy.

Conscious-Air-9823 · 2026-03-28T22:01:14+00:00

I live in a city i’m not single but I get approached and there’s tons of men that I could if I wanted to strike a convo up with, you need to move somewhere with mostly people your age. not saying don’t date older or younger but I used to live in the suburbs and think dating was bleak because everyone was married.

AutoModerator · 2026-03-14T07:08:07+00:00

Title: How do you even meet people to date?

Author ashdjdkdkd

Full text: I’ve tried dating apps and usually they never work for me. I do get matches but we never get to a conversation. It feels like all men are swiping right on everyone but never bother to have conversations.

Other than that I’m not sure how I could possibly meet someone. I don’t have that many friends, my coworkers are all older and married. I’m 27, maybe I should mention that.

I am not the type of person who goes out a lot. But even when I do I do not get approached.

When it comes to looks I would say I’m “average”

There are things I can do to better my appearance and I’m working on them.

My standards for a possible partner are the same I have for myself right now: average looks, makes around the same as me (or more), same level of education, etc

So I don’t know, I feel like I’m being realistic. But I have no idea how I could possibly meet someone.

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Title	How do you even meet people to date?
Author	ashdjdkdkd
Upvotes	36
Comments	25
Date	March 14, 2026 7:08 AM UTC (4 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1rtcro9/how_do_you_even_meet_people_to_date/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/how-do-you-even-meet-people-to-date.1575458 https://theredarchive.com/post/1575458

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