What % of deadbeat dads are due to parental alienation caused by the mother?

phuk-nugget · 2026-03-25T20:06:45+00:00

Their goal is to bury you in depression in legal debt.

Every “deadbeat” I know (only a couple) did it because they were expected to front the bill for EVERYTHING. Even after child support.

Banake · 2026-03-25T19:18:26+00:00

My mother was one of the reasons I became somewhat of a MGTOW.

Jalharad · 2026-03-25T21:37:51+00:00

After fighting for 2 years I finally got the court to remove child support from our 50/50 agreement. As soon as that happened she stopped picking our child up for her time. I now have her full custody but no child support because she refuses to get a job.

men-too · 2026-03-25T19:06:38+00:00

That belligerence when the spark disappears does seem to be more of a feature than a bug. I’ve experienced it myself and couldn’t believe the radical transformation in my ex from wedding vows to divorce malevolence.

Another major factor of “bad husbands” is the dead bedroom phenomenon, leading men to stray and be immediately painted as villains. (I’m not excusing adultery, but it is all-to-often excused when women do it.)

cupcakebuffette · 2026-03-25T19:35:41+00:00

Its kinda similar to how exes are always portrayed as abusive or toxic.

brainhack3r · 2026-03-25T20:39:31+00:00

I always say this, you can tell someone’s being dishonest when they refuse to acknowledge the contradictions in their logic.

Try to have a conversation with feminists about domestic abuse propagated by women, and they will write it ALL off as reciprocal and claim the men are always initiating (not true). They know they’re lying and that is the only way dumb narratives like this are allowed to exist online- they straight up do not acknowledge that many women will be awful and vindictive when breaking up, and the common way of doing that is by using the kids against the father. It’s always going to be unfair to the kids bc they are not responsible for any of it, but most adults do acknowledge that women using kids for leverage and control over men ie why a lot of deadbeat fathers exist

I’ve found that non-white women are generally more likely to be honest about this. I work with a lot of older black women and ever since I was 17 they have been telling me to be careful of young women that I engage with bc they have so many horror stories abt their sons being abused and ending up in these crazy court battles bc their exes just turned into the most hateful ppl ever after their breakups. Obviously just an anecdote but in my life I’ve seen a huge difference between the genders where men are more likely to be amiable to exes, but women will be completely hateful towards a guy that they were dating and “in love with” like 2 weeks ago.

The argument that a lot of male feminists make is that you should never stop trying for your kids, but it’s stupidly unempathetic and reductive bc they don’t actually care about the experiences of these fathers. Almost everyone knows at least one story where the mother was objectively horrible for a number of reasons and the fathers still had to fight like a decade or more for custody after abusing the kids so bad that the courts can’t ignore it anymore- for as much as I love and wish the best for men who stick it through for their children, but as an adult I’m not going to blame the men who got pushed away early on and never attempted to reconnect, it’s not that simple enough to throw around half-assed judgements for the sake of absolving bad mothers of responsibility

Personally, if my views on women were based off my experience w my mother (the way many feminists attack as a proxy for their fathers) I’d be an outright misogynist. Even as a kid I recognised the insane willpower my father had to stick to her side during her worst moments- which were frequent and never far enough between.

ispq · 2026-03-25T21:04:16+00:00

My mom told my dad that if he tried for custody of the three children, myself included, she would kill us. I was told this years after both my mother and father passed away by my stepmother. Honestly, it tracks with what I know of my mother.

breakingthebarriers · 2026-03-25T23:26:19+00:00

One of my friends just went through a nasty divorce, and is being taken to the cleaners financially. Lost the house that he bought, paid for, and remodeled himself. She just sold it. Moving. Taking the kids to live 7hrs away. Presumably just to make it more difficult for him to have any relationship with his two kids. I've known this dude for over 20yrs. I know him well enough to know that he isn't lying when he told me that of course he didn't cheat, and no, he doesn't have a bastard child with the woman she accused him of cheating with. (that's her story) What's crazier, they actually did a DNA test and proved that was a lie, but she refused to acknowledge the results of the test. Wouldn't even look at them. Moved 7 hrs away and is being a whore now. Leaving the kids at home alone, posting pics of her at bars dressed like a...

He pays child support, alimony, lost his house, and most of his friends aside from me because I realize that his ex is manipulating everyone with a fake story. But so many people believe her. It's nuts. But also so is she. But nobody is willing to want to ask to discover that. Messed up.

bobstinson2 · 2026-03-25T21:55:25+00:00

My ex did this to me. It’s hard to get people to believe you, but as the kids age they figure it out.

HiramCoburn · 2026-03-26T02:46:26+00:00

My brother-in-law dealt with a situation where his son's mother intentionally discouraged the boy from graduating high school to extend child support payments. However, Washington state law addresses this through 'post-secondary educational support,' which requires a parent to continue payments if the child pursues college, regardless of them being over 18.

The Washington law (RCW 26.19.090) regarding college support is a classic Slippery Slope Fallacy codified into a statute.

The state argues that because a married father might choose to pay for college, a divorced father must be legally compelled to do so.

This rests on the irrational belief that the state is a better judge of a father’s financial capacity and a child’s merit than the father himself. It transforms "child support" into de facto alimony, extending the "provider" role well into the child's mid-twenties.

criticalcry-tactic00 · 2026-03-25T22:05:18+00:00

I think it is more subtle and common than otherwise perceived. Even myself recalling back my upbringing i started to see toxic behaviour from my mother sidelining my father a bit too much. But he was also unstable. So...

Capital-Box164 · 2026-03-26T00:03:55+00:00

the women that I will tend to date will be totally and completely in love with me up until the point where they're not.

its called getting settled down for.

emo-ctrl · 2026-03-26T00:47:37+00:00

Likely 90%

Main-Tiger8537 · 2026-03-29T11:44:02+00:00

there is no data about such stuff because it does not get researched or inspected properly...

Easy-Historian5376 · 2026-06-08T20:09:22+00:00

Your mother most likely had BPD. I'd she is like two different people, that plays into the splitting behavior.

You don't have to have a cluster B disorder to commit parental alienation, however they are statistically notorious for the behaviors weather they known it or not and that is not okay.

Parents can also exhibit parentall alienating behaviors such as bad mouth or triangulating that child against the other parent. For it be full blow alienation, the child has to completely reject the other parent. The child does this by taking on the ideas of the alienting parent ( the parent causing the split).

It's a very tricky and psychologically fucked up thing to happen to all parties involved.

Future-Stretch-401 · 2026-03-25T19:19:16+00:00

How would alienation cause that? My ex hates me so I’m going to take it out on my kids by not paying support? The only cases I know about personally the two Dads definitely just abandoned the family for their own selfish reasons. In one case the kids never forgave him, in the other one of his two kids did let him know his grandchildren.

Title	What % of deadbeat dads are due to parental alienation caused by the mother?
Author	brainhack3r
Upvotes	233
Comments	36
Date	March 25, 2026 6:35 PM UTC (3 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1s3j6r1/what_of_deadbeat_dads_are_due_to_parental/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/what-of-deadbeat-dads-are-due-to-parental.1576384 https://theredarchive.com/post/1576384

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