I guess this wont be the most comfortable thread for me to make, but here goes anyways:

I have had suffered from depression for quite a while (many years).

That is all better now.

I moved up in the job where I have to lead a team (men only) I mostly enjoy the job.

After a while I got more attention from female coworkers, somehow this awakened me. (although I dont act on it much for now).

I started to find new friends out of work and started the dating apps again.

I tried to be more outgoing, witty, playful, and just have fun on dates.

This has worked for me somewhat.

The problem is that on the 2nd or maybe 3rd date - I feel this unwritten agreement that it will end up at my place, and the girl knows it - and that is exactly what happens. Up to then, all good, touchy, flirty.

But for some reason, sometimes, I get all up in my head and cant get hard.

I never have this problem on my own. So I believe it is a purely psychological issue.

Any ideas on how to overcome this?

Most tend to bail, but I have a girl now that said, not to worry about it and we can meet again.