The ex has always been extremely controlling, in fact she divorced me mostly because I started pushing back on her controlling behavior and setting some boundaries. 2 years after divorce, nothing has really changed with her. Our interactions are always stressful because she is so fearful of our kids' safety. She assumes I am not taking proper care of my kids on my time, despite me always being a loving and attentive father. There have been no legit instances of me ever doing anything that would put my children in the slightest danger. But, I'm always afraid she will do something reactive or drastic like make false reports to CPS or something and try to interfere with my visitation. She has done it before and because of her need to control, she will stop at nothing to get her way. After each visit, I am dreadfully afraid when they go back to their mom's house with a tiny scratch from a rose bush or playing with my dogs and all hell breaks loose, starting with harassing phone calls and texts. She doesn't work and has plenty of time to make my life difficult by any means necessary. I'm not afraid anything will come of it because there is no actual concern, but she would definitely try in order to make things difficult. She has nothing to lose.

I made the decision to set some tougher boundaries, starting with only interacting over text when there is anything we need to discuss for the kids and shutting down all communication unless it's absolutely necessary. Last night I told her I'm done playing her games and I have no obligation to engage in her interrogations or questioning about the kids. If she wants to try to make a case through the court she is welcome to but I'm not going to continue to allow her to berate me about things that are not even remotely a legitimate concern.

Any advice? I'm so exhausted after 11 years of this behavior and I just want to enjoy my kids without the fear of her interfering with the one most important thing in my life.