Just whinging…

Today has been rough, probably the toughest day I’ve had in the past few weeks.

I’m (50m) still living with STBXW with our three kids. I’m doing my best to stay calm, increasingly grey rock,and stick to my plan. Mediation is booked in a few weeks, so I’m trying to hold off on the bigger conversations until then rather than get dragged into arguments. Lawyer is paid and on standby.

The pressure is just relentless. I spent hours putting together a framework for how we manage expenses and accounts while we’re still living together, and it was received as me being controlling and manipulative. If I speak calmly, I’m told I sound robotic and condescending. Every thing she says changes again and again, and when I point out the shifting positions I’m ‘gaslighting’ her.

We’ve also got house works underway for a pending sale, so there are tradies around, rooms being moved, normal parenting, full-time work, financial admin, and the general stress of trying to keep the kids shielded from the adult side of things. Every time I do a job, another two appear.

Fortunately I’m not having to deal with false accusations or relocated kids, thank f!ck for that.

The funny thing this the STBXW thinks I’m dragging my feet to keep her chained to the marriage, yet she’s the one resisting mediation and financial depression.

Anyway, it’s the burden we all carry.

Massive shoutout to the fellas here. This group has been a saviour for me - your stories of staying calm, working to a strategy, document everything, avoid reacting, have been a major stabilising force for me. Not to mention the awesome stories from the other side.