Is this an unrealistic approach to dating?

InevitableKiwi5776 · 2026-05-26T22:10:33+00:00

Did your husband not have life insurance? And aren’t your kids getting SS survivor benefits if you’re in the US?

It doesn’t really matter if it’s unrealistic or not if this is your situation. Being open to divorced/single dads will help your odds.

I’d think that finding a man who will be a good father to your children would trump his paycheck and ability to provide a SAHM lifestyle.

DoctorNini · 2026-05-27T08:00:31+00:00

I am very sorry for your loss. I guess it depends on what your dating scene is? Are you part of a certain community or religion? And are you open to widowers or divorced men?

Also, if you are looking for a traditional man that wants to provide for a large family, I am not certain implants would add to your RMV.

die_eating · 2026-05-26T21:58:15+00:00

You already have 4 kids and you're willing to give him 4+ more babies at 31? Dang!

juliavvcks · 2026-05-26T23:12:21+00:00

Acho difícil achar um homem assim com 31 anos e tendo 4 filhos. Homens nesse padrão costumam buscar mulheres jovens e sem filhos

Wife_and_Mama · 2026-05-27T06:20:50+00:00

Yes. This is wildly unrealistic... still, because I'm pretty sure you've asked this question several times and gotten the same answers each one. This isn’t happening, no matter which internet people you ask.

Pleasant_Fig8444 · 2026-05-28T02:39:00+00:00

Oh yeah completely realistic I think you actually should go for at least 200k.

AutoModerator · 2026-05-26T21:44:25+00:00

Title: Is this an unrealistic approach to dating?

Author pillowpalaces

Full text: I'm a widow of 4 and had a provider husband. I'm 31. Would it be possible to find a husband who would want to provide for me and my stahm lifestyle, in exchange I give him 2-4+ babies,(I love being a mom and wanted a large family)cook, clean, Christian homeschool trad wife lifestyle, and I am 7/8 depending on who you ask, exotic, take care of my looks and health. Is there a man that would be open to that especially being I already have 4? I'm also looking for someone that's easily making over 100k. I'm not sure how when I reenter the dating world explain how I could bring that to table and what I expected from him as well.?? I currently make 50k salary and have under 200k in savings so I'm not desperate. But would love to be back in this lifestyle and not have to worry about working/paying rent etc.

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Existing_Cat_2523 · 2026-05-28T20:54:32+00:00

Yes. You would probably find a divorced older man, which is not a problem, I guess. Just remember to take care of your appearance!

markarli · 2026-05-27T15:04:01+00:00

You have to be realistic here and bear in mind that while you should not “settle” for a life you do not want, it might be more difficult and potentially take longer to find the “right fit” for you. 1. Right from the get go, people who want to pursue/be in long term relationships or marriage with single people with no kids are eliminated - you are already a mom not to one but four children and a lot of people would be hesitant if not outright unwilling to take on this huge responsibility. If someone treats this as no big deal at all too soon, it can actually be a red flag. Always put your children’s safety first. 2. If they are willing to proceed to a future oriented relationship fully cognizant of the fact that they have to step up to an already established family dynamic, there are chances that they want their own child(ren) as well (people who do not want children are not likely to go for a mother of 4). That means that with 4+ children, the financial burden for a single income family is exponentially higher than with someone starting a family with zero kids at the beginning. So you are looking at a specific income bracket already and even 100k might be cutting it short.

Considering the above, that limits your dating choices based on the already having multiple kids+need for very high income criteria. It is not impossible but it will take patience and time. And since you are essentially going to bring a step parent to your children, weeding out bad apples should be done with the outmost care; it is not an angelic world out there and many predators know how to mask well. Do not fall for something “ideal” especially too soon.

It is great you have savings and the income from the benefits, I am not sure if those last until the kids are legal adults as I am not an American and familiar with this system, but make sure you have a solid financial plan for the years to come; funds for college, insurance, maybe some investments, even a part time job if you cannot work full time. Lots of people turn their hobbies into profit.

Good luck.

Title	Is this an unrealistic approach to dating?
Author	pillowpalaces
Upvotes	0
Comments	23
Date	May 26, 2026 9:44 PM UTC (1 month ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1tolbeu/is_this_an_unrealistic_approach_to_dating/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/is-this-an-unrealistic-approach-to-dating.1581329 https://theredarchive.com/post/1581329

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