Question: does being under confident and insecure inside make others subconsciously unattracted towards you?

norwegiandoggo · 2026-06-05T14:57:14+00:00

People evaluate others through a combination of the halo-effect and through a subconscious counting-system where they add all your positive qualities, give them different weights and find your total attractiveness score based on the qualities they care about.

When you take one quality most people find attractive, like confidence - and you reduce it. What happens? Well if that is their first impression of you it creates a negative halo effect. So that's quite unfortunate. They are less likely to be attracted.

But if they see some positive qualities first, and then notice some of your insecurities later on - the insecurity will count for less. It will not factor into their view of you as strongly. For example, if you're handsome this would be beneficial in this case. They would see your hot looks first, and then once your insecurity is displayed that will be the second thing they notice - not the first. That makes a big difference.

What other qualities do you have that are attractive? This matters because confidence is just one part of the picture. If you can show some positive qualities up front that is great.

Note that some people are also strongly attracted to insecure individuals. But the people that have this attraction often like to use / manipulate / abuse people. They want to take advantage of your insecurity to control you.

Back2theCouture · 2026-06-05T21:14:01+00:00

Re-read the title of your post again. You actually revealed why you’re not confident. Because you’re afraid they will not be attracted towards you.

The real question is: WHY? Why do you care whether they are or they’re not attracted to you? Why would you be sad or scared if they’re not attracted to you?

The key to this is being content. You gotta be content with yourself. Embrace who you are. Accept who you are.

Besides, you just met these people.

They’re not your parents who’ve been feeding you since you were a kid.

They’re not your mother who brought you to this world.

They’re not your boss who signs your paycheck.

They’re not your teachers who could give you bad grades.

They are not influential in your life. Not at all. You shouldn’t be bothered on what they think of you, or whether they’re attracted to you or not.

Matter_Still · 2026-06-06T07:38:19+00:00

The presupposition that lacking confidence and feeling insecure is a dealbreaker ignores the fact that many women also feel the same way.

Studies estimate that between 80% and 97% of women feel insecure about their physical appearance.Other insecurities include aging, imposter syndrome, and just garden-variety intelligence. Put simply, the woman who you think has it all together may be just as insecure as you.

JackSquirts · 2026-06-05T14:27:15+00:00

People want to be able to rely on their partner and lack of confidence and insecurity often causes people to be unreliable, especially when it comes specifically for standing up for their partners socially and physically. Beyond that, insecure partners put stress on relationships by requiring constant validation, reassurance, and often aren't trusting. All that shit is completely exhausting.

ppotato-_-otatopp · 2026-06-05T14:34:50+00:00

No, women are gonna test you if you have the balls to approach. It's pretty fucking overt, nothing subconscious about it.

O_Pacity · 2026-06-07T05:58:48+00:00

Under confidence is a warning sign your body is giving you to keep you out of danger.

duke_awapuhi · 2026-06-05T14:28:40+00:00

Unless they’re attracted to that sort of vibe

Title	Question: does being under confident and insecure inside make others subconsciously unattracted towards you?
Author	sometybacker
Upvotes	4
Comments	16
Date	June 5, 2026 2:23 PM UTC (1 month ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1txmfcn/question_does_being_under_confident_and_insecure/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/question-does-being-under-confident-and-insecure.1582146 https://theredarchive.com/post/1582146

Comments