Hi everyone ! sorry, I deleted my original post right after being dumped so ill post it in the comments for more context if needed.

Context + Update :

My (24F) boyfriend (29M) and I have been together for almost 3 years. He is my first relationship, I am not (its his 3rd) and the first two years together were amazing. Then on the third year, things started to become a little complicated… He got busier at work and would message me less, call less, stay more overtime and I would start to nag more that usual. I am a little nag and he usually finds it cute, but it wasn’t cute anymore. He still stated that he wanted to marry me soon, told some of his best friends to get ready to be groomsmen, took me to Paris for my birthday, met my grandpa before he died and was there for me during his funeral, also took the initiative to take my mother and siblings to the restaurant. 3 months ago, he lied to me, which affected my trust towards him and I had a hard time completely forgiving him. He apologised, explained and reassured me, but this made me nag more, say things that could hurt, and made things hard on his patience. (He had lied about being with just a colleague when the colleague had also brought 2 women later on, said he would have told me afterwards but felt awkward telling me on the phone right in front of them). Little arguments started escalating more often, I was more sensitive than usual and admits it was not great. I started being on the pill 8 months ago and was stressed/grieving so I was more on edge than usual.

Then, 2 weeks ago, he asked for a 5 day break after a big argument and it was the day before my exams week. This break was HARD, because we had been talking every single day ever since we got together. I broke no contact twice to ask him where his mind was at and tell him how hard it was on me but I could feel from his response that he wasn’t in a good place and that he may want to break up. After 5 days, he decided that breaking up was what’s best for the both of us. Said it was bc cohabitation would be hard with my personality and he knows how hard it can get bc he lived with an ex. That the constant nagging made him feel disrespected and not appreciated and that even though he might regret it, he thinks we might be better appart and that maybe is 5 YEARS (??) we would meet again and things would work out better.
I was crushed, angry, cried, asked him to reconsider and that we could work things out as a couple instead, and he asked me for three more days to think things trough. I have him one.

The next day, he came to me and ended things again, but this time he told me he was in some depression and felt pressure with being with me. He was losing weight, not keeping up with his good habits, not sleeping enough, had not been to church in 6 months, and was starting to have some body image issues (which sometimes made him overthink intimacy). That he wished I pushed harder to help him when he pushed me away, that he is conflicted between his heart and his mind bc he loves me too much and that love enough may not be enough for us to be together forever and doesn’t plan on getting divorced. These past argument made him feel disrespected, unloved and even less of a man. He has a very hard time opening up about those kind of things and kinda just wished I could read his mind (lol). He also said he wished he could know for sure that he was making a mistake. So I left after we talked for an hour, gave him a note with my feelings that I had written a few days ago, and was ready to go trough this hard breakup phase.

Then the next day, I came back to him bc I wanted to end things in a better way and show him support bc he had finally opened up to me and seemed in a bad place. Asked if his state of mind was part of the reason why his was pushing me away now. We discussed and he ended up saying that his fears may not be facts, that this decision was rather radical and unilateral and that we should stay together and have a deep conversation to change what’s wrong. Have our first date all over again when I am done with exams (one week left).

I wasn’t expecting that outcome at all. I genuinely thought we were meeting so I could end things on better terms and show support after he opened up about his mental state.

Part of me is relieved and happy that we’re still together. But another part of me keeps wondering : if I hadn’t gone back to talk to him, would he have ever come back on his own? Did he truly change his mind, or did he just react to seeing me again? I’m worried that this uncertainty will stay with me and affect how secure I feel in the relationship going forward. I read half of the Surrendered Wife book and plan on applying some of those principles in conflict resolution etc + eventually getting therapy to deal with my anxiety later this year.

We’re supposed to have a serious conversation in 10 days about what needs to change and what our future looks like. If you were in my position, would you stay and try to rebuild trust, or would you accept the original breakup and step away?

TL;DR: My boyfriend broke up with me twice last week, then changed his mind after I came back to talk things through. We’re now back together, but I feel uncertain because I don’t know if he would have reconsidered without me reaching out. We’re meeting in 10 days to decide what to do next. what would you do?

Edit : better context