help - 21 male victim of SA

Junior-Ad-2072 · 2026-06-28T15:04:03+00:00

Wait until the topic of men victims of SA is discussed before opening up. Based on her mindset on this topic, you will know whether you should stay or go.

Rich_and_more_rich · 2026-06-28T17:28:03+00:00

Male victim of woman-on-man sexual assault here as well. My advice:

1) Go to therapy. Talk to a professional trained to deal with it.

2) *Make sure you have texts, video, or something proving that either she forced the encounter, or that she wanted it to happen.* All too often, the female aggressor will falsely say she was the one raped or assaulted, when the reality is quite different.

plantrromn · 2026-06-28T15:02:20+00:00

Look into therapy. No matter how snowsoft it looks, choose woman based on their views towards men in their lives, random men with neutral relationship to her and social media history...

There are a large number of good women in world. I hope you are healed!

rabel111 · 2026-06-28T23:40:14+00:00

In the highly heirarchial social landscape of women, victimhood is a currency. Once you reveal your status as a survivor of rape, you threaten the position of women as primary victims (i.e. in any conversation, being a woman gives you more victim currency compared to men, even if you haven't been a direct victim).

Therefore, as a threat to a woman's social standing, you must be diminished, either by trivialising your experience of rape, turning your experience of rape into a form of misogyny, or trading on the zerosum version of human rights (i.e. "what ever harm a man experiences, a woman has experienced a greater harm, therefore the man's experience of harm is not meaningful").

StarPlatinumsPenis · 2026-06-29T00:26:44+00:00

Only surround yourself with women you trust. If a woman gives you bad vibes, don't get any closer. Being friends with women doesn't hurt either. They can help womansplain things to you and make you feel safer by vetting out some people they think are a no go.

DentdeLion_ · 2026-06-28T17:59:05+00:00

Hi there, i'm a woman, i hope it's okay with you that I'm here and commenting.

You can be sure that i certainly wouldn't fault you in any way shape or form for what happened to you in the past. I don't think i know anyone (including women) who would. The important thing to keep in mind is that you're in total control of when and who you choose to disclose this information to and it certainly shouldn't backfire in way. I believe you and i'm sorry this happened to you. You deserve to be heard and supported, maybe by a psychologist, but of course by the people you choose to keep close to you.

You deserve to heal. And to dream of being loved, by whomever, without worrying about what could happen if they learn this.

Organic-Mud-8728 · 2026-06-28T19:20:11+00:00

I am really sorry. More needs to be done to help men

2026-06-28T19:50:38+00:00

I'm sorry for what was done to you. I wish nobody had to go though this. I was raped by a woman a few years ago, and although I haven't tried dating anyone since then, I did tell two female friends and they were both very supportive, so it's certainly not the case that all women are hostile to male victims. I don't know if that helps eliminate your concerns and I obviously can't tell you that they are not valid because some women (and some men) are obviously very hostile and unsupportive.

NathanJesus · 2026-06-28T20:34:23+00:00

If she isn't aware of men's mental health struggles at this point don't continue. Bring it up in conversation starting with mental health as a whole. It's sad but trusting women today is tricky. Likely whatever you say it will spread like wildfire. I'd wait until you are more serious to share this. Your situation is sadly common and we have to get the message out so others don't have to go through this.

Appropriate-Major649 · 2026-06-28T20:38:31+00:00

I do not recommend you ever share this with a woman you are involved with. I speak as a happily married man, but with long and repeated experience prior to marriage.

mikiencolor · 2026-06-28T22:47:41+00:00

Not all women would do that, but do be careful who you trust. Maybe if the topic comes up, bring up male victims generically and see how she responds.

KissesUwU · 2026-06-29T10:42:05+00:00

Only do so when you are comfortable.

Unfortunately it's very common in gay communities to find sexual assault due to stigma and discrimination. That's probably why you've seen overwhelming support.

Realistically most people who care about you and accept you will be supportive of you is my experience.

It's far more rare to see evil people willing to destroy your reputation and tell your secrets.

Build that trust with your partner and everything will be alright, probably.

SkyllKrusher · 2026-06-29T11:21:39+00:00

Hope you get through it and find good people men and women and others around you.

Title	help - 21 male victim of SA
Author	IcyLevel6
Upvotes	81
Comments	19
Date	June 28, 2026 2:44 PM UTC (3 weeks ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1uhz3ox/help_21_male_victim_of_sa/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/help-21-male-victim-of-sa.1583805 https://theredarchive.com/post/1583805

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