The physical abuse never would have broken me I think, it was the constant shrieking in outrage at my every action without reason or predictability from my single mother. My much older/heavier sister was the one doing most of the physical damage.

What really outrages me in hindsight is that my mother would do nothing to prevent this abuse, and only ever interceded to remind me how horrible it was to hit a girl. I believed her too, and many times thought I was going to be killed or suffocated. I remember being around eight year old and shamed by both these women that "the little faggot is getting beat up by a girl", I thought it was true. A man was supposed to be strong right?

All I want to do is everything I can to change things in this country, I am away from them now and have been for 6+ years. I know how terrible life can be for a little boy who looks like his father trapped in a household with women who hate the very same man.

EDIT: All the kind words from you guys after a lifetime of hearing "suck it up", or "couldn't have been that bad" really hits me right in the man heart. Thank you all, more than you know. Thank you.