I am not a MRA. I have always believed in equality; equality across race, gender, and orientation. I find now that I have been mistaken, and that my egalitarian view is not ubiquitous.

Just over one year ago I was attacked by my girlfriend at the time. She has severe personality disorders, but by God I loved her. Loving her turned out to be the gravest mistake of my life. One that will ultimately destroy me. She is externally beautiful, and at times she was deceptively sweet.

Throughout our 1.8 year relationship she was physically, emotionally, and psychologically abusive. I and neighbors had to call the police on her for violent outbursts, but the police did nothing at the time besides tell us "calm down you two". A different approach was taken when she called to falsely accuse me of violence.

After I was seriously assaulted by her I threatened to call the police again. She beat me to it (I learned later), and told a completely fabricated version of her attacking me, and instead claimed that I attacked her. I was immediately arrested. I said over and over and over that I was the one who was attacked. I had black eyes, a bloody nose, a bloody lip, and an injured rib. The police did not care (the explicitly said so - I have video discovery now from the DA... finally after over a year of waiting).

The officers said she had injuries, to which I replied "yeah right, I want to see photographic evidence of that". There was none until she took pictures of herself several days later. I refused booking procedures for a misdemeanor assault and the officers became agitated that I would not cooperate. I was then charged with a felony assault, a charge that would destroy a future that I had worked from poverty to create. A childhood dream destroyed with one single lie. Working my way through high-school, college, and graduate school - all for nothing.

Like most U.S. states, domestic violence charges mandate a 48 hour hold in this state. I am a truly self-made PhD, yet I was treated like an animal from start to finish. I was never allowed to tell the truth, and when I tried I was told that it did not matter. While I was jailed, my ex-girlfriend moved out, took my things, and then filed a protective order against me. I remember seeing the officer as I arrived home from lab late in the evening a week after I was out on bond. I said "I think you're looking for me"; I was served, and I thanked him for his service to our local community.

I sat down and I wept as I read the horrendous words she said about me. Forever on my record. That I was a suicidal maniac who had strangled her and abused her for as long as she knew me (I will make it public after the trial). I have many friends and ex-lovers, not one of them would agree with this, and while I know that in my heart, it still destroyed my spirit. So it began, the end of my ambition. The end of my career, the end of my manhood and the end of my very humanity.

At first my attorney said we should go for a "deferred agreement", at which I would admit guilt and then the case would ultimately be dismissed after abuser treatment and restitution, fines etc. I said "no way in hell". He said that is just your psyche talking. The DA never offered it anyway. The alleged victim (my ex) said that "she wanted me convicted of something" and hence, as VAWA dictates I was offered a plea to a misdemeanor DV assault conviction.

I did not understand. I never assaulted anyone, I was assaulted by a drunken maniac!? I declined and said that the only way I will ever be convicted of anything is if 12 people from my community deem it to be so. I wanted a trial. As such I was indicted. Here's the interesting part: not only did the DA indict me on the original felony, but she also added the misdemeanor to which she offered a plea, just to make sure that I would be convicted. So now, after being attacked by an unstable woman I am charged with a felony and a misdemeanor assault. I have been indicted on such, and I will go to trial on such. How has the law been twisted to the extent that the victim of a crime becomes the perpetrator of two crimes simply because he has a penis? I am so saddened, and I will not make it; but I will hold on until the end.

I don't really know why I am writing this to you all. I guess I just want help. I want understanding. I loved this person. I saw her craziness and I was always there with an understanding ear. I supported her, and she was extremely mean to me. I have so much proof of her abuse towards me, but I do not know of it's admissibility during trial. I have had so many long-term girlfriends who will testify to my good-nature, but I fear it will not be enough to counter her and police testimony.

To me, integrity is not just something we see in books and movies. It is something that has always defined me. I will never stop telling the truth, but I already know that I cannot win; even if I am found not guilty my career as a scientist and educator are over. What has happened to the law? What has happened to our world. They will destroy me with this. What I ask of this "movement" or group is that you direct me to someone who can help me tell my story after (or during) the storm. I will redact anything and make all information available for public consumption/interrogation. All I want is for the light of truth to shine upon this case.

If you read all of this thank you. I have more to say, but I often feel like I am rambling and/or incoherent.