I've been doing a deep self-reflection on why I can't game at nightclubs and here's what I've come up with (posting here for sanity check and for a review).

  • I have a strong aversion to physical touch and assume that others would feel uncomfortable about touching like me. From now on, instead of trying to avoid all contact, I should actively find reason to touch people, especially girls I find attractive (starting with shoulders, arms, and hands of course and escalating).
  • I'm afraid of burning bridges. I feel like since I have one shot at getting it right with each girl, and I get scared that if I get it wrong, I'll have burnt this bridge forever. Such a bridge never existed and I just need to crank the numbers up (my total nightclubs approaches is literally like 5, not 50, not 500, only 5), and try things until I find something that works. It's not like I'll see these people again. My friend literally just went out, hit on girls and got a hook up.
  • I need to stop overthinking. Was that bump by accident? Was she looking at me? I don't know, just follow the formula of "see hot girl, hit on hot girl". (Not the best plan, I know, but I should probably get my approach numbers up to triple digits before I think about any optimizations) My friend literally just turned off his brain and tried stuff until something worked.
  • I'm too results oriented. I'm trying too hard to optimize in order to get the best results in the fewest attempts. From now on, I'm treating approaching like applying to co-op jobs; when I apply, my main focus is hitting a certain number of application rather than whether any specific one of these apps will interview me because I know that if I apply to this many jobs, a certain percent of them will give me an interview. (I do customize my resumes to some degree, but I'm not hyper focused on ensuring any specific application will work) I should treat approaching women like that too. Just focus on hitting a certain number rather than the results.
  • I'm afraid I'll cross boundaries. I think too much about whether a certain touch would be inappropriate or cross her boundaries and whether I was making her uncomfortable (I didn't even approach anyone, I was literally playing through all those scenarios in my head). You know what? If she's doesn't want me around and I misread her, she'll make it crystal clear real quick.