I keep starting out too "friendly"

bahadurJoe · 2024-02-15T07:01:41+00:00

Project more sexual energy.

Eye contact, intentional conversation. Don’t be afraid to express what it is you’re thinking, within reason.

Jironasaurus · 2024-02-15T09:32:49+00:00

I know that kind of energy. I've been there before. It's too platonic. Too safe. You're not taking risks with the interaction by being more audacious, more upfront with how you feel and who you are. There's basically no edge to the personality you chose to display. And it's also a lack of confidence that they'd actually like you for who you are.

So it doesn't matter whether you verbally establish interest or not. In fact, when you say you do so by complimenting on her appearance, that's already risk averse. You have to come out and brazenly suggest that the both of you might end up being physical with each other.

The solution is a long term one. You need to become truly comfortable in your own skin, to the point where you don't care if women like you or not. To the point where the good and bad of your personality is open for others to see. That allows you to act with ease and confidence around women.

In the short term, observe how the jocks in your school behave. Model after their behaviour, but take out the asshole bit. You don't need that at all. You just need to be more ballsy with the way you interact with others.

Hope that helps.

Viktor2500 · 2024-02-15T06:58:20+00:00

Depends on what you're aiming for. If you're looking for something long term then go with your flow, given that you actually know how to escalate when presented with an opportunity. I think everybody starts where you're at currently. I've personally been on both ends. I was told I was too friendly so I completely flipped and then began hearing that I'm moving too fast. Yes I was getting results but I wasn't seen as a long term material. So in conclusion it really depends on the woman you're dealing with and what you want out of it.

Delicious_Ad_1853 · 2024-02-15T13:36:34+00:00

Kino escalation. Touch is the difference between friends and lovers.

uself · 2024-02-15T06:45:55+00:00

I have the exact same problem... Hoping for some good advice so I can read it 😁

YellowCosmicWarrior · 2024-02-15T09:08:05+00:00

Have you ever had an argument with someone not on the Internet? Did something that may cause you a rejection? Said something controversial to your date? Tease them like an older brother would tease them?

Steering away from conflict is just boring. And women love emotion. A good mix of everything. From being teased, complimented for their choices, surprised by your move, taken care of when you walk down a cobbled street, uncertain about your feelings, disagreeing with your opinions and trying to convince your otherwise (stay your ground here).

By saying you are nice, they say you are just boring to them. Think of a date as of a movie. Movies have a script that puts you through all kind of emotional states and leave you thinking about it. But have you ever seen a boring movie and thought, yeah I would watch it again.

ChicoBrillo · 2024-02-15T13:24:05+00:00

I'm a very friendly, outgoing person, this is what I do.

Toe the line, be flirty, drop a compliment every so often, use touch to your advantage.
Be cool. IE don't blow their phone up, give them their space, occupy that perfect middle ground of wanting them but not caring which way it goes either.
Keep it moving, keep meeting people
Be explicit/straight forward when it's appropriate and then accept the "no" if that's the answer and move on.

I think the typical "wrong" moves people do when in the so-called friend zone are as follows:

They don't accept that she isn't interested, they think investing time and energy alone will get them what they want (which is manipulative or at the very least disingenuous)
They convince themselves that the woman in question is the only one that would ever make them happy (obsessiveness, oneitis etc) and take her rejection very personally. You're stuck in the friendzone because you won't move on essentially.
Having an unrequited love is actually a crutch. Instead of leaving your comfort zone to meet new women you tell yourself "No, I already met the right woman, but she rejects me, therefore, there is no reason to try because I already did and it didn't work"

Hope this helps

Efficient_Aspect_638 · 2024-02-15T11:37:44+00:00

I said yesterday over text “I don’t wanna be your friend but I wanna get to know you” it worked but I’ve only used it once lol. I just thought of it when she said guys intentions aren’t clear.

Kagenikakushiteru · 2024-02-15T15:59:19+00:00

Talk sex. Kinks.

No one wants to hear your view on save the animals

TRTGymBro · 2024-02-15T11:58:15+00:00

Try looking at them like you are fucking then.

Jolly-Jaguar8664 · 2024-02-15T08:00:15+00:00

"friendly" is a vague term, everyone understands it a bit different what it means. Narrow it down more, what you problem is. Maybe you are e.g. too soft, not assertive/leading enough, insecure in showing your masculinity. If you just try to be "less friendly", you might lose the good aspects of it: e.g. empathy, politeness, being chilled, being kind ...

"friendly" is too vague ...

Theboynextdoor09 · 2024-02-15T19:35:30+00:00

Great..knowing where you fit under is a good start. Make more jokes at the beginning and gain closeness quicker is all. Your friendliness with adjst things for you automatically

Wonderful_System5658 · 2024-02-15T21:16:07+00:00

You need to be an object of a woman's desire (genuine attraction). Many women don't lack options, so you'll need to be different and better than rival males. Even after you put in the work (effort), the women you are attracted to may not reciprocate. As long as you don't get caught up in "oneitis" you can overcome the friendzone by separating yourself from what a woman sees as just another man she can have when her other (better) options are dwindling. Women are more calibrated socially so you need to instill a sense of FOMO when you're not around. Be high value.

Title	I keep starting out too "friendly"
Author	Secure-Ear-6185
Upvotes	61
Comments	23
Date	February 15, 2024 6:16 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1ar8xjl/i_keep_starting_out_too_friendly/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-keep-starting-out-too-friendly.1427630 https://theredarchive.com/post/1427630

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