Hey everyone, standard long-time lurker, first-time poster here. I’m reaching out because I feel like I’m at the absolute end of my rope and don’t know where else to turn.

Things at home have deteriorated to the point where we are fighting almost daily. Whenever I try to bring up an issue or talk through what’s happening, one of two things happens:

* She completely stonewalls me like a total shut down, silent treatment, zero engagement.

* She deflects and flips it. Whatever the initial issue was gets entirely lost, and within two minutes, the entire conversation is restructured to make everything my fault.

The resentment building up inside me is getting heavy. I recognized I needed help handling the stress and dynamic, so I started going to individual counseling. I’ve asked her to join me for couples therapy or get support of her own, but she flat-out refuses.

To add another layer of complexity, my wife has OCD. I try to be compassionate toward her struggles, but at this point, it feels like her condition and her defensive habits create a wall where no real communication can ever happen. I’m constantly walking on eggshells, and any attempt at resolution just turns into a minefield.

I guess my questions for guys who have been in this spot are:

* Is this dynamic systemic of the end? Can a marriage survive when one partner stonewalls, deflects, and refuses to participate in therapy?

* Has anyone dealt with a spouse with OCD in a dynamic like this? How do you separate the illness from destructive relationship behavior?

* For those who walked away or saved it from this point, what were your turning points or red lines?

I appreciate any honest thoughts, advice, or perspective. Thanks for reading.