My wife (38) told me (42) five days ago she was getting a divorce. We spoke for about ten minutes, and I stormed up to the roof. Up there alone, I spent the first hour fighting it and the next few hours processing it. By that night, I was actually in agreement with it, and after a couple days I was borderline excited (save for a few random bouts of tears, of course). I went out to our other home (thankful we have two), have been journaling and listening to divorce podcasts like crazy, and I have to say I'm feeling probably as positive as I can about it. Just for context, we have no kids, there was no cheating/financial/weird stuff, it really came down to our differences about wanting kids and my wife just pulling the plug. I'm trying to as best I can view this as an opportunity to view the life I want, but I also aggressively want to make myself the best man I can be for whenever the next partner comes along.

As part of this, I have heard from some of the experts about doing an "autopsy" on the relationship. At what point should I do this? I'm sort of dying to get some answers now so that I can frame some self-improvement goals around them, as thinking about goals and bettering myself is maybe my most satisfying & rewarding headspace right now. She also said in our brief single convo that she feels much of the blame, too. I don't fully know what she means by that.

I'm absolutely not looking to get back with her, but I'm wondering at what point it's okay to try and have a conversation with her about it. She actually wanted to talk more the morning after, but I refused, and have kept all our talk since then to very sort of formal/polite text exchanges as we work through the division of assets.