How do you deal with a man who won't stop hitting on you

FrogTrainer · 2015-05-26T13:08:13+00:00

I'd try to get some of his comments recorded. Video preferably. That way there is an iron clad defense against any retaliation once you report it.

sugarcrush · 2015-05-26T13:09:15+00:00

Try /r/legaladvice

You probably need to start looking for a new job.

Annajbanana · 2015-05-26T13:05:29+00:00

Do you have a HR department? I know you've mentioned that it's a bit of a club, but if you can find an objective ear to hear your issues then it's worth it. Make sure you've logged everything that has happened so you can go into detail if necessary.

peppepcheerio · 2015-05-26T13:12:50+00:00

You haven't outright told him that you are not interested in him yet. You've given him reasons that you can't be sexual with him but never "I am not interested in you." throw in a "the thought repulses me. " if that doesn't work.

myfriendmarkus · 2015-05-26T13:14:37+00:00

Not an RPW issue. quit your job or call HR

Pink_acetaminophen · 2015-05-26T13:08:55+00:00

It sounds like a constant issue. I would have nipped it in the bud the second time if i thought the first comment was an accident or even said something the first time. He has to understand his comments are unprofessional so you can directly tell him that What he's saying is wrong and making you uncomfortable because it's unprofessional.

myfriendmarkus · 2015-05-26T13:13:07+00:00

The thing is I've tried to let this man know in ways that I think are quite obvious that I'm 100% not interested and want him to leave me alone but he refuses stop.

You need to just directly tell him that his actions are inappropriate and that he needs to stop. In all of your anecdotes you are very passive and don't assert yourself. You allow him to get away with his behaviour which is only going to be interpreted as encouragement. There should be legal options for you if the problem persists after you speak with him clearly and firmly. But the first step is definitely confronting this guy.

nomnompuffs · 2015-05-26T13:18:32+00:00

Just tell him directly:

"Excuse me, that was extremely unprofessional and it makes me feel uncomfortable."

"Sir, I've made it clear that I don't appreciate that."

"I think you're getting too close. I feel threatened."

"Sir, I've told you before that I feel uneasy when you do X."

"You're getting too close."

"You're violating my personal zone too much, Sir."

All of these are pretty good, and they are perfectly polite, and none of them constitute attacks at all. His ego shouldn't flare up either, and he shouldn't feel a need to take them as challenges.

Most of them also appeal to his personal sense of wanting to be a good person, and not be "that guy" who is making you feel legitimately uneasy.

Key points: don't use words like "frustrating", "annoying", "creepy", etc. Use words that appeal to his sense of honour: tell him you feel "uneasy", "uncomfortable", "threatened". Remind him that his behaviour is "unprofessional".

All I've done here is teach you how to use "I-speak" instead of "You-speak", and how to voice concerns by appealing to peoples' better nature, while being firm and clear. This is stuff you can learn in a basic communication skills lecture -- I'd strongly suggest you take one.

The way you speak can change a lot about your environment and what you get out of it. Good luck, OP~ :)

Hitman359 · 2015-05-26T13:26:46+00:00

Is he your boss? Dude sounds like a rank amateur PUA who just figured out some of this stuff and is trying maximized "asshole" game on you at best, a total beta AFC who thinks his higher rank in the corporation entitles him to some fine ass despite the massive age difference and you already being in a committed relationship, or he's a total psychopath/narcissist at worst and thinks that all the "bitches" in the world that catch his fancy ought to bow down and worship his divine dick.

Sadly, you will probably have to risk getting the pink slip to get this dude off your tail. From the looks of things you're going to have to go nuclear to shake him off and, as you have rightfully perceived, this will probably get you in trouble with the management as, well, we can't have our sexy little cog (i.e. you) in this great corporate machine act like an actual human being that has a friggin' soul. We must make an example of this little bitchy upstart who dares defy the will of her masters!

The "48 Laws of Power" and the "Dark Triad", tragically, exist for a reason. You're probably in a good, high paying job and are otherwise happy with your life. That means the vile evil vultures are gunning for you, because people can be evil, nasty little shits who think they're gods when they are, will, and always have been but mere humans.

I suggest you SECRETLY (I must emphasize that) start looking for another job for they WILL fire you on the spot if they find out you're looking elsewhere if I'm right. Also, be sure to work with your man on a plan to deal with the possibility of losing that income stream for awhile. Life when you're poor sucks hard (I know, I'm living that life), but it's better than dealing with predatory vultures like that every day. No good woman should have to deal with that, I hope you and your man understand that fact.

Title	How do you deal with a man who won't stop hitting on you
Author	myfriendmarkus
Upvotes	3
Comments	19
Date	May 26, 2015 12:22 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/37bj6t/how_do_you_deal_with_a_man_who_wont_stop_hitting/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/how-do-you-deal-with-a-man-who-wont-stop-hitting.166280 https://theredarchive.com/post/166280

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