In need of serious life advice

VigilantRedRooster · 2016-08-27T06:43:43+00:00

I'd like to remind everyone that OP is asking for advice on how to prioritize elements of her self-improvement journey. Let's keep the discussion on this topic.

OP is not asking whether she should move away from her BF; this undoubtedly difficult decision was already made. I don't want to have to remove comments, but if the discussion of this side topic escalates any further toward arguing there will have to be some heavy pruning.

If anyone wishes to further discuss the topic of staying/breaking up with a boyfriend who has become disabled, feel free to start a new post on this topic. It's something worth discussing on RPW, just not in this thread. Thank you.

Edit: Discussion here. and now Here.

rproller · 2016-08-27T02:04:43+00:00

I'm not sure what the question is but I disagree that you should leave him when he needs you. When people are perpetually sick they get depressed so of course he's going to say he's holding you back. But that you would actually leave and not help him through his illness is wrong. Are people who've become disabled in some way not supposed to have relationships?

rproller · 2016-08-27T01:26:58+00:00

I think your boyfriend is right. I don't know what his illness is, or how it affects your relationship, but it sounds like he can't give you what a man should be able to give a woman in an LTR. Everything might be hunky-dory now, but when it comes to things like starting a family and raising children, you may very well hold it against him for not being able to fulfill his role as a husband and father. In your heart you know it's not fair, but I think any future with this man is going to be fraught with burdens you may not be prepared for.

To put this in perspective, imagine that you have whatever illness he has. You probably aren't able to give him 100%, and very likely you would feel that you're holding him back. And would you really want him to stay with you out of obligation vs. love? You say that you have feelings for him, but that your interactions are mostly like that of nurse/patient. I believe your actions betray your words, and that it's probably been a very long time since you've actually been a girlfriend to your boyfriend.

I think it may be time to cut your losses and move on to someone else. I learned the hard way that love (to the exclusion of everything else) is not enough to sustain a relationship in the long term. If you stay with this man, know that you will be giving your best years to someone who is not whole. You may even look back and wonder if you could have had a better life with someone else. I'd say make the tough decision now; you'll thank yourself for it later. Good luck.

bowie747 · 2016-08-27T09:07:42+00:00

I think you should leave him, but I'm a heartless bastard.

nonthaki · 2016-08-27T08:39:12+00:00

Very touching story . However , this just confirms to me that Love is conditional , just like Red Pill mentions . Many men would have gladly fell in love or stayed In a relationship with a sick girl , out of sympathy, love , provider instinct or whatever. If ever such a sickness falls on you, he might be such a kind of guy , and will take care of you and stay in the relationship .

However, I agree with rproller , and your BF knows that too that he is holding you back . You should cut your loss and realize that to raise a family , a strong alpha husband is necessary and your bf cant become that in his present condition . Just tell him that a relationship cant be pursued because it involves a lot of factors and not out of spite, And also tell him that you would rather have a good friendship with him than pursue a relationship and lose the friendship in the end (this does sound like Friendzoning , so rephrase carefully). Remain friends (platonic) with him .

He is a man and he will survive .

QueenBee126 · 2016-08-28T12:58:59+00:00

I would recommend reading the blog the Rules Revisted. There is a chart here and literally start going though this step by step. All of it won't happen overnight (i.e. The weight loss) but you can put in place a long term plan that you work towards every day.

Then, in the mean time, you can post on here more detailed posts about your unfeminine mannerisms, emotional or any personality type issues, issues with friends, etc. that you think are unfeminine and we can give you specific advice to address those behaviors. :)

Title	In need of serious life advice
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	12
Comments	18
Date	August 27, 2016 12:36 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/4zrtfb/in_need_of_serious_life_advice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/in-need-of-serious-life-advice.166907 https://theredarchive.com/post/166907

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