Some observations about black women from a black woman

pinkdrawings · 2016-10-17T09:00:30+00:00

Just chiming in to say I'm neither black nor white.

In my very image oriented field, a few black coworkers confided in me that clients specifically asked them to not wear their hair naturally. From what I've read online, this is an issue that pops up in other image oriented fields. I imagine that must make things difficult.

TheRedStoic · 2016-10-17T14:15:14+00:00

Spot on.

I'm black and this is why I've only dated one black woman. There just aren't enough out there that are up to par anymore. It's disappointing, but that's life.

PantheraTigris95 · 2016-10-17T16:43:21+00:00

I'm disappointed that the first discussion of race (since I've been here) has essentially been '6 Reasons Black Women Are Undesirable'. This isn't a discussion even - there's no 'why', it's just saying that black women are terrible based on stereotypes. This is insulting and really very upsetting to me, sorry.

Let me address each point. For background: I'm 'light skinned' Caribbean living in Canada.

You're essentially saying "Black women are fat, and the ones that aren't are fake, or underweight." You say that exercise should be the priority over hair, but then in #2, you go off on the hair. "A lot of Black women don't like working out because they're lazy." What an overgeneralization.
Believe me, you only notice the 'bad' weaves. If it's good, you don't see it. "You can tell she thinks she looks fantastic and she thinks people believe it's her hair" It sounds like you've seen one black woman, or been to some low-class bar and have decided that's how all of us act. There's a lot of argument over hair in the black community. 'good' hair is white hair. Any black woman who tries to get thin, straight white hair will do serious damage to hers. Believe me, I hated my hair and tried to do everything I could to get it to lay flat.
I'm on the fence on this one. On one side, I'm not a loud person and I'd always rather handle a situation politely rather than make a scene. I've had a racist Grade 1 teacher and just left a job with a racist manager. You either absorb the abuse or get labelled as the unreasonable 'mad black woman'. Our options are limited - no one will listen to you asking them "excuse me, do you think you can tone down the racism and treat me the same as my coworkers?" . It's truly a situation you don't understand until you've been in, so I won't go into this one too much.
Is this a race issue or a socio-economic issue? "When they are dressed feminine it is in a slutty way, like tiny shorts with their butt hanging out, tight leggings, and belly shirts. It is really no wonder black men would rather date non black women." I hate to say it, but it's 'not all black women'. Do you notice it more when it's a white woman or a black woman ?
I don't know where you've been eating, but I think black women are amongst the best cooks. I love family dinners, every woman in my family cooks at least 5 days a week.
I think this is an issue of a lack of role models. There is a massive overrepresentation of light skinned blacks, and like it or not, there's still an uncomfortable cloud hanging over dark skinned blacks. Look at the photos you've chosen. Your 'dark skinned' woman has few black features. Thin nose, thin lips, oh, [and her hair isn't even real, so there goes your point about all the bad weaves I guess.]. (http://madamenoire.com/322120/celebrities-real-natural-hair/2/). Maybe none of them have problems finding dates because their net worth is probably in the millions - unlike the impoverished people you seem to be making the comparison.

I'm thinking this is maybe a reflection on the stereotypical, low-income black neighbourhood in the USA, but I really do find it upsetting. I want to have something to be proud of, and if this is how people see black women anyway - what can I do about it? I really try, but with stereotypes like this facing me, what's the point? This makes me sad, that's all.

I'm not just complaining and saying 'society isn't fair', I think your evaluation is self-depreciating, inaccurate, and really insulting. This could have been written by a white male who's never met a black person in his life. Check the post history of this 'throwaway' account.

This makes me sad, that's all.

HappyLollie · 2016-10-17T14:23:34+00:00

I'm a dark skinned black woman my SO is mixed race albeit very pale and most people think he's white at first but his Afro hair gives it away but it definitely wasn't so obvious when he had short hair though!were from the U.K however and I do think us of those in the U.K are a bit different to those in the U.S well if my American cousins from Brooklyn are anything to go by although the ones from Washington D.C are a bit snobby!

I get my hair relaxed every 8 weeks or so and always use the same hairdresser who knows how to best take care of my hair. My hair is to my shoulders naturally but I do sometimes put in tracks in of weave to make it longer my SO loves my hair like this so I make sure I maintain it and keep it healthyI think full weaves look terrible though a family member of mine does them I think they look so cheap personally also many professional environments wouldn't hire someone with their natural Afro hair as it can look unkempt at times so therefore it looks unprofessional although I have noticed this changing slowly and more black women are wearing their natural hair more and more which is great as it's discriminatory to judge someone on a feature they were born with and rightfully so.

I can cook well as I was taught by my mum and both my grandmothers hell even both my grandfathers could cook pretty well even my dads not bad himself when he can be bothered! I regularly cook traditional West Indian food as well as English food, I'm very lucky I had those early influences and my SO loves my food we hardly eat out or get take away these days unless it's a special occasion or if we just feel too lazy.

I also grew up in a nuclear household, with my mum, dad and little sister (although I do have a couple half brothers and sisters from my dads previous relationships before he met my mum!) I know not many young black people get to grow up in that sort of environment especially so in the U.S by the amount of jokes are made about absent black fathers on reddit which I always thought was strange because all of my family on my mothers side have also grown up in a nuclear family and have most of my fathers side too but i know it's a real problem, my SO doesn't have a relationship with his father (who is black) who was in and out of his life constantly while he was growing up and so have many of my friends experienced this too.

To me the problems stem from poverty mostly though, poverty leads to crime which leads to a complete breakdown of society it doesn't matter what colour you are if your poor and uneducated your more likely to turn to crime when their fathers are being put in jail or dead it's the children that suffer the most the family unit falls apart and that's a terrible thing. That's why I also believe the RPW way of a more traditional set up is best for family that's why my grandparents marriages lasted until the end (god bless their souls 😇) they knew the right way to run a family and that's why I guess my family have been so lucky to had have such good examples on how to have a happy family.

dont-YOLO-ragequit · 2016-10-17T13:48:20+00:00

About the out of shape thing and Gym thing.

Lots of black women are trying those anything but gym workouts.

Used to be taibo, then insanity then P90 and now it's little aerobic-like crossfit light classes with trainers...

Usually it tones the body but doesn't seem to lose weight for every one.

This might be why you don't see them at the gym. The fitter ones are all doing those classes that tone an out of shape body(hoping to lose weight) instead of building muscles that reduces fat.

Food. Our parents were raised and are used to spend 3-4 preparing each part and facing an oven heating 4 pots at a time.

Now few people are willing to do the same work specially for 3-4 portions as opposed to the 10 portions they used to make for football team. Plus both the man and the women's parents are still making that sunday food making it less necessary to cook well.

I will add things up later in the day but wanted you opinion on these.

Also.. There is an other sub if you are looking for more answers on this subject.

dont-YOLO-ragequit · 2016-10-17T15:04:14+00:00

I'm a black female and I'm very out of shape. I know this is most likely the reason the nice black guys don't pay me any attention. Some will tell me that I have a beautiful smile. I don't blame them. I'll be honest, I don't want a fat husband. I strongly believe that once I lose the weight, I'll attract the nice black man that I want. I'm in monk mode right now because I need to finish school, lose weight, join a church, and draw myself closer to God. This time next year, I should have completed these tasks.
When I'm at work (bank), I do get hit on by older black men or black men that are my age but so country, that I can't even deal (I have no interest in either).

Ganaria_Gente · 2016-10-17T08:02:57+00:00

fascinating post! im very unfamiliar with your demographic (and im sad to say, my city has very very few black women at all, as i believe plenty of them are amazing looking), so your post was very enlightening to read.

altho certain parts of my city does have black people, on the whole they are rare, compared to the high number of east and south asians

also my city could REALLY use latinas.....alas.

skinninja · 2016-10-17T14:34:21+00:00

Black guy here. You hit it spot on with this one. ™

mLii · 2016-10-17T10:44:57+00:00

haha you've been watching Tommy LMAO

Boygzilla · 2016-10-17T16:41:55+00:00

In my experience it's the same things that initially attract me to black women that end up causing me to not pursue them seriously: outgoing, somewhat brash, transparent, honest, testy. I'd say black girls make up at most 10% of the demo in the part of my city I hang in but compose like 50% of the instances I've been cold-approached at the bar. In that environment I'm stimulated, even flattered, by the advances and find it invariably leads to a good time. Afterwards, with a more relationship-focused mind, i find myself much more inclined to pursue the girls who are more guarded and filtered in appearance as well as demeanor. Same thing applies to all girls of all races. The fact that it just seems to be more prevalent in certain races is just a function of culture and socioeconomic distribution I'm conjecturing.

There was one black girl I went to grad school with who I was really into. We hit it off, hung out on campus a few times, nothing serious though chemistry was there. I intended to go after her more seriously but when we added each other on Facebook i saw she had been in an all black sorority, dudes in the pics from their formals were all black, etc. I just assumed she wasn't into white dudes. In hindsight, a large part of that was my own immaturity and inexperience. There's still a bit of a natural segregation that happens unfortunately and it requires self-assured, mature individual to bypass it.

2016-10-17T17:05:59+00:00

start yelling and swearing at you. Why would any successful high value man want anything to do with a woman like this?

Bam. There it is. As a guy I wouldnt put up with treatment like that. It simply isnt worth the trouble.

The women of my generation don't value feminine traits like that, so most never learned to cook

Very true. My exwife and I are white and she never really valued feminine traits, like cooking, and that (along with several more serious matters) certainly contributed to the decline in our relationship

jealousy of light skinned black women

I never understood "colorism". I mean, intellectually, I can follow the retarded logic, but I've never looked at a really tanned white guy and thought "ugh, asshole". (except those Jersey Shore guys, but that's different)

VigilantRedRooster · 2016-10-17T17:57:03+00:00

I'm disappointed that the first discussion of race (since I've been here) has essentially been '6 Reasons Black Women Are Undesirable'. This isn't a discussion even - there's no 'why', it's just saying that black women are terrible based on stereotypes.

I'm inclined to agree. The Red Pill is about self-awareness and self-improvement; it's not enough to rant and leave it at that, let's remember to include actionable information and advice if we decide to rant.

I don't want to delete the discussion that's happened so far, so locking this post now.

Title	Some observations about black women from a black woman
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	27
Comments	16
Date	October 17, 2016 7:17 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/57w4c3/some_observations_about_black_women_from_a_black/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/some-observations-about-black-women-from-a-black.166975 https://theredarchive.com/post/166975

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