The title says it all, but novel incoming.

My dad is a badass. He can build a beautiful piece of furniture out of raw lumber, repair small engines and appliances, has had paintings featured in prominent art shows (none of that new agey random shapes bullshit, we're talking pictures of bears and fish and mountains), plays 3 instruments, and in his mid 50's is still bench pressing in the upper 200's, lean and mean at 6'1 195. He played football in college and met a sweet, loving dimepiece who became my mom. They've been married for almost 30+ years and only stopped having sex when my mom had some kind of uterus surgery, as she still hasn't gone through menopause. Probably because my dad still turns her on.

He is also a religious man. He is a devout christian, but he takes the stance that if God is really all knowing and all powerful, his job is to live as a moral exemplification of what it means to be a good person, and God will do the evangelizing. He feeds homeless people on weekends and lives a good, upstanding life. He is one of the only people who has never lied to me as far as I know. And this is why I can not figure out why I didn't trust him.

As of today I consider myself an alpha male. I am in great shape, 6'0 200lbs, work out 3 days a week, dress very well, have a graduate degree in engineering from a top 15 school, and am pursuing a PhD. My dad taught me to play an instrument, how to paint and draw, how to fix and repair things, and my mom taught me a love of math and reading. My parents gave me a solid moral, physical, emotional, and mental foundation that I have never stopped building on, but I was never able to really understand why I had trouble with women until now. The bottom line is, I listened to my mom about girls, I mean after all she is one, right? And the tv says dads are stupid homer simpsons bumbling around and moms are wise and mature.

The bottom line is, all throughout high school it failed miserably. Girls would be interested until I began to listen to their feelings and maybe, God forbid, talk about my own. Guy's can't have feelings you mangina. I had the ultimate oneitis beta relationship and it ruined any chance of anything good coming from women in high school. Looking back it had literally every symptom of betaness, and every negative female characteristic embodied in this girl. I was emotionally fucked by this girl. In college I was too afraid to form relationships with girls for fear that I would be shattered in a similar way. now the scar tissue and callouses are hard, and I realize women want me. I am in scarce supply. Finally, for the first time in my life, the tables have turned and I can finally understand and predict women's behavior.

Thank you.