I don't want to behave like an 'Alpha'. I'm an introvert who doesn't have the energy to be the 'life of the party' that you advocate an alpha is

JeffsRP · 2015-09-29T01:38:00+00:00

If you want to be "the silent type" you best be sure your physique, posture, body language and eye contact are all on point.

Also, when you do open your mouth, have a deep voice (yes, it's learnable). Silent types with high pitch voices get little respect by default.

Kolbath · 2015-09-29T01:08:30+00:00

It's not about becoming someone else. It's about becoming a better you. It's about realizing that you don't have to be second in life. You don't have to have a shit job, a shit house, and a shit wife. You can have a killer bod, a great place to work, and a woman to match your social value.

If you're happy, then stay as you are. But if you were happy I don't think you'd be here.

throwaway_divorce_11 · 2015-09-29T01:23:16+00:00

You may have incomplete ideas as to what alpha is.

Many great, confident, high SMV men are introverts. (Note: shyness and introversion are not the same thing).

You will have to socialize. Accept it. The trick is knowing that, as an introvert, you'll have to "recharge" with time alone away from crowds before or afterwards. For me, it's 2 hours of solitude for every 1 hour of group activities.

Other than that, you don't have to be the "life of the party." Whatever's fun for you, you bring that. If that means you're the chillin' and telling jokes guy, or having interesting conversations with a small group here and there guy, or step outside for a bit with a few people and smoke a bowl guy (rather than cruising about being the loud obnoxious frat bro, or the shake everyone's hand guy), then do that, own it, and bring confidence and assuredness into it.

Confidence is alpha. Leadership is alpha. That's it. Introverts and extroverts simply have different styles. And that's cool - it takes all kinds.

Steve Jobs was an extrovert. Bill Gates is an introvert. They're both leaders. They both commanded respect. They have different styles.

90% of being successful at social functions is putting other people at ease. If your way of doing that is being friendly, calm, and having fun in a laid back, easy sort of way, then you can be very successful. And chicks love the laid back confident guy who's not being loud and showcasing.

drallcom3 · 2015-09-29T10:24:45+00:00

I'm an introvert. You can only have success with people and women if you try to not be one. Being silent and quiet doesn't get you anywhere in life.

Sure you can be quieter than others, but you still have to contribute and it better be good if you do. Otherwise you're boring and less useful than a chair in social gatherings.

It takes a long time to master those things and no every introvert can make it, especially if they're also shy (= scared pussy).

648262 · 2015-09-29T13:58:48+00:00

Confidence is fine, but i would prefer to be the introverted, quiet type of confident than the outgoing, energetic and sexually aggressive type that TRP describes.

Then do it.

Alpha is just about being powerful and have people submit to you. With some people it's easy, with others it's difficult. Find a way to be powerful around everyone.

Read 48 laws of power if you want to learn how to become more powerful.

Vzuv · 2015-09-29T15:02:46+00:00

Socializing is a necessary evil - that being said, you can still be introverted. I'm a pretty introverted guy. I also don't drink. The two of these combined make most social groups really awkward. As an outsider, it's almost sad how much people's social life seems to revolve around drinking - either getting together to drink, or talking about how much they drink.

At work I was questions when I need answers, I speak when I know what I'm talking about, and I aggressively step up to fill any power vacuums that need to be filled. I absolutely hate having my time wasted.

You don't have to be false, though. What you do have to have is confidence. If I feel confident about what I'm doing, it's much more easy for me to be outspoken and stand out. I feel that if you become confident, you naturally become more outspoken and more extroverted... even if you only achieve that confidence in certain specific scenarios and with certain social groups.

chadthundersock · 2015-09-29T18:23:26+00:00

So stay how you are. Nobodys running a jointrp. C om campaign. My god.

Then whsn youre unhappy with your life and still living with mom and her legion of cats why dont you stop by and say hi. We'll still be here offering advice, banging loads of hoes and overall enjoying life.

W_O_M_B_A_T · 2015-09-29T02:09:31+00:00

Sounds like you have social anxiety. I'd strongly suggest talking a to a Professional Counselor and getting some Cognitive Behavioral Therapy tips.

If I have to become someone else to get women,

That's a huge false dilemma you've creating for yourself.

You can easily do both. Improving your social skills, confidence, initiative, and getting over your anxiety issues has nothing whatsoever to do with becoming a "different person."

who doesn't have the energy

Ask yourself, do you really want to accomplish easy things for the rest of your life. Or would you prefer a few difficult accomplishments?

If the latter, 1)fucking quit whining. "It's tooooo haaaard!" "That just isn't who I am!"

2) make a simple plan and set some simple, clear goals for yourself. For example strike up a conversation and flirt with 1 woman per day. Or hold eye contact with 3 random strangers per day.

3)proceed step by step, day by day. Your real enemy isn't failure. It's the stagnation that results from chronic anxiety.

Title	I don't want to behave like an 'Alpha'. I'm an introvert who doesn't have the energy to be the 'life of the party' that you advocate an alpha is
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	4
Comments	21
Date	September 29, 2015 12:59 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/3mrw06/i_dont_want_to_behave_like_an_alpha_im_an/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/i-dont-want-to-behave-like-an-alpha-im-an.188843 https://theredarchive.com/post/188843

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