after years of porn and mastrubation, can't stay hard during real sex

burningsuit · 2015-03-01T01:41:35+00:00

Do nofap but don't do "/r/nofap".

What I mean is don't be a member of their community, the only thing they do right is helping people who are seriously addicted to porn, other than that they're very blue-pill and cult-like.

Stop watching porn and only jerk off if you really need to, say every week or two weeks. Other than that don't worry about the "oh does a wet-dream count as relapse?" shit, it's pointless.

machimus · 2015-03-01T00:06:07+00:00

It's almost certainly psychological. You've got yourself brainwashed that sex is going forward a certain way and put a lot of pressure on yourself. Try leaving off porn for while, and only using your imagination, when you must. And with a girl, take your time and don't rush yourself into sex. You sound like you're building it up too much in your head and not enough in reality.

Cum_on_doorknob · 2015-03-01T02:04:43+00:00

I've had this before. I think there are a few factors at play.

Make sure you're in good shape. If you're fucking and you get really tired and you're hot and sweaty, that's gonna make you go limp.

Another thing is that you are worried about your performance, and the anxiety about your erection will kill your erection. Don't worry about that. Don't try and impress the girl, just have fun. Sex isn't about cumming, it's about having fun with a naked girl. Hell, lesbians have pretty hot sex and they don't have a penis. So, slow down, get relaxed, be dominant, emotional, and make sure you're enjoying yourself, as long as that's happening, she'll be happy.

PeesOnChildren · 2015-02-28T23:35:28+00:00

Get a fleshlight and use that instead of masturbating by hand.

Masturbate one time a week using it, slowly and gently while thinking about a girl that you know that you want to fuck.

BlackHeart89 · 2015-03-01T02:29:54+00:00

You may be nervous. I had a similar issue.

Never had a issue with my erection until I was about to have sex with a new chick one day and random shit kept cockblocking the situation. Lead to me getting limp and nervousness and being in a rush kept me from getting back up, despite being damn near hard the entire day and rock solid during the make out session.

Took a few tries, but I ended up boner the moment I gained the fuck it mentality. After that, everything was all good.

I realized when I don't give a damn about pleasing the chick, I don't have an erection issue at all, even with new chicks. I also learned that my erection is stronger when the chick is completely naked. Its odd because "mentally", I think nothing of it. That subconscious mind, boy...

EDIT: also, if you do masturbate, avoid a tight grip. No way a chick can match up to your grip. Remember that. And if you watch porn, watch something where the chick looks similar to the chick you're fucking. I don't like fat women too much, but I was able to smash a fat chick a year ago with no issues during a dry spell. A combination of her having a big ass, me not giving a fuck if things go wrong or not, and having watched a few flicks with "thicker" women in them, it was all good. And this was all while mentally thinking, "Aw man. This bitch has rolls on her side. Jesus christ. I'll just give her a good 15 or make her cum. Whichever happens first. And I'm done..."

[deleted] · 2015-03-01T03:35:00+00:00

Find and buy and read a book called 'ejaculation mastery". Through focusing on what you are feeling, you can restore your sensitivity and pleasure. Ability to perceive pleasure and sensation through conscious focusing is what will keep you hard, more consistently than abstinence.

[deleted] · 2015-03-01T03:38:50+00:00

What worked for me was to set aside a time to discover which sensations made me get hard. I used oils, and took it very slow, and breathed deeply etc. Good sex where I stay hard and dont blow my load happens in between the spaces where I am trying to cum or trying not to cum. Theres so much pressure on guys to be a beast, or be a more sensitive lover, that we sometimes forget or put second place the very motions and positions that will keep us hard, defeating the whole purpose of the entire activity. Through focusing on what you are feeling, and learning what feels good to you, you can learn to better manage and maintain your arousal, and also not ejaculate until youre ready.

drqxx · 2015-03-01T07:30:25+00:00

Stay away from porn completely.

No fap does work.

TekkomanKingz · 2015-03-02T00:56:47+00:00

Abstain for a couple of weeks and allow your CNS to reset.

Nodeal_reddit · 2015-03-01T01:02:39+00:00

Have you tried cialis or Viagra? It may get you over the hump (pun intended) until you can get your confidence back.

oldredder · 2015-03-01T01:13:27+00:00

I think it's just that you've gone too long without sex and that means your body is going to not be familiar enough to get with it. More foreplay will probably fix that. Being nervous is the problem here. Stop it if you can.

Never had this problem but common-sense & life experience tells me if you are too long without sex the next time you're with a girl it will probably be too-long or too-short until you get used to her.

[deleted] · Sun Mar 1 2:14:46 2015 UTC

[permanently deleted]

Title	after years of porn and mastrubation, can't stay hard during real sex
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	14
Comments	29
Date	February 28, 2015 11:08 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/2xi94x/after_years_of_porn_and_mastrubation_cant_stay/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/after-years-of-porn-and-mastrubation-cant-stay.191824 https://theredarchive.com/post/191824

Comments

Stay away from porn completely.