When is a girl worthy of LTRing, in your honest opinion?

FrameWalker · 2015-02-25T11:38:05+00:00

1) No red flags - not a club girl, few orbiters, never been in an abusive relationship, has a good family. Low partner count.

2) Invested in you - regularly goes out of her way to please you. Many nonsexual favors - cooks for you, cleans for you, etc.

[deleted] · 2015-02-25T14:01:21+00:00

Good question!

Virtue is my highest standard to gauge whether a girl is LTR material. http://lmgtfy.com/?q=virtue

Not just talking about virtue, but BEHAVING in a virtuous way. Actions speak louder than words, and often times words are just gaslighting. Does my girl care about others? How does she express that? By her career being in service, education, health, etc? Does she volunteer for her community or internationally? Is she giving of herself and is generally selfless, and how does she do this demonstrably? Is she courageous, or does she allow fear to dictate her actions?

Some other things I look out for are healthy paternal relationship, athleticism, healthy diet, non-smoker, casual drinker, no unsecured debt (student loans in a STEM degree is fine), loves doing things for me without me asking, and goes out of her way to make me feel loved in unexpected ways (folding my clothes without me knowing, for example).

sheridork · 2015-02-25T13:44:34+00:00

Draw yourself a list of quality you like for a girl. Choose wich one is essential for you.

You should look at red flags. Like her partner counts, if she's caring, does she have (too much) mood shift, look at her mother.

A anyways, keep frame even if LTR. Good luck

[deleted] · 2015-02-25T18:00:47+00:00

1: Does she have clean (or relatively clean) finances? What does she have debt from? A degree in film studies or a degree in computer science? Did she buy a new car she'll be paying off for the next 7 years, or did she buy an older car that she already owns? Debt is forgivable, but what the debt is for isn't so lucky. If she has poor money management now it won't get better later, and can only serve to be a negative draw on whatever relationship you build.

2: Is she nice? I don't mean in a superficial sense, I mean when she's put into a shitty situation, how does she behave? What do your friends say about her when you're not around her? I'm sorry, but its easier to make a fat girl attractive than it is to make a mean girl nice, and the kind of loyalty and relationship you actually build on helping someone better themselves is going to be a far firmer bedrock than in making someone begrudgingly change their ways. Most fat people don't want to be fat. Most mean people have virtually no concept of their behavior being poor. Most people who come out of mutually abusive relationships usually talk about how its the only way they learned how to interact with other people- it was the environment they were raised in so it seemed "normal."

3: Is she behaviorally an adult? When you go to her apartment unannounced is her place a dump? I'm not saying it needs to be immaculate but the, "yeah, duh" kind of stuff. Dishes in the sink that are now growing mold, a laundry basket so over-full that the whole place stinks, the whole nine yards.

4: Is she invested in you or the idea of you? You should never marry someone you think you love more than they love you, and the same holds true for someone you, for now, intend to engage in a long term relationship with.

fx-115es · 2015-02-25T13:12:08+00:00

Has good relationship to her father

MattAmoroso · 2015-02-25T13:36:18+00:00

Remember that forming an LTR changes the woman you are with at the biological level. This is not something necessarily intended or desired on her part. Things may or may not be good after, but they are unlikely to be the same. Sadly the exact amount and nature of the effect is difficult to predict.

oldredder · 2015-02-26T04:03:43+00:00

for me: no over-spending, no entitlement to spend my money, no cheating ever. She should even cut people out of her life who are cheaters because it disgusts her that much.

Friggen_throwaway · 2015-02-26T10:10:58+00:00

I have been thinking about this recently.

Young but out of university (23-26). I Don't need a chick who is right in the middle of her gender studies classes.

A solid 6-7. Good looking but not high maintenance.

Doesn't need to be rock hard. Works out only 1-2 times a week. Firm body but soft lines.

Has a basic job that pays her enough so she does't need to mooch off me. I also don't want a chick that spends all her time working.

Low partner count. 0-4ish.

Feminine but is open to going on outdoor adventures.

Laughs at my lame jokes

Hates clubbing/bar scene but loves to hit the pub for a pint once and a while.

No or very little debt

I don't think I am asking for much. Am I being realistic?

Thorgusta · 2015-02-25T16:37:16+00:00

ITT: Unicorns

through_a_ways · 2015-02-25T17:55:38+00:00

Not overly opinionated (durr feminasm), young, cute, not overly sexual looking, obviously into you, and comes from a well-off family.

Also has to be white (or at least Turkish or something).

debitsandcredits4lyf · 2015-02-25T17:20:55+00:00

One necessary criteria: She is beautiful and amazing in bed.

slater2j · 2015-02-25T13:47:26+00:00

No guy friends. That's a sticking point for me.

[deleted] · 2015-02-25T14:09:25+00:00

Under 25, doesn't drink and never did, non-slutty friends, strong conservative family upbringing, not sorority, educated with a good career and enjoys healthy eating and fitness

alreadyredschool · 2015-02-25T14:47:19+00:00

When she makes you happy and is fun to be around.

Title	When is a girl worthy of LTRing, in your honest opinion?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	12
Comments	35
Date	February 25, 2015 11:35 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/2x3p8s/when_is_a_girl_worthy_of_ltring_in_your_honest/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/when-is-a-girl-worthy-of-ltring-in-your-honest.191867 https://theredarchive.com/post/191867

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