What are your thoughts on this, "I wish I hadn't opted out" article?

FleetingWish · 2013-12-19T00:11:05+00:00

Instead of being an article on the "price of motherhood" think of it instead as "the price of choosing a profession", after all it's an article of a mother regretting her choice of motherhood as a profession. Like any other profession, you have a chance of losing your job by quitting, by being fired, or downsized. Of course if you leave one profession for another you run the risk of not being able to keep up with your peers and if you return later.

This is a tale of a woman who made bad choices. She chose the wrong guy to marry, and either divorced him or he divorced her. She put all her stock investments in the hope that that would work out, and when it didn't, she lost it all (well not all, the article conveniently forgets to mention how she got a severance pay of child support payments until her kids reach adulthood). Then her fall back plan goes bust as well, because she chose a poor career. Maybe she missed the news, but columnists are not a career heavily in demand. And now she's suffering the consequences of that choice. If she had picked to say... Be an engineer, or a nurse, or several other careers, she would be having no trouble right now.

[deleted] · 2013-12-18T23:56:55+00:00

theres no mention of why she got divorced. sucks to be her

TempestTcup · 2013-12-19T21:09:58+00:00

She was a newspaper reporter, and she blames being out of the workforce to be a SAHM for her inability to get a job. There are very few newspapers any more and the ones that still exist run mainly local stories or AP stories. It is one of the most difficult jobs to get nowadays. Her ex-husband is incredibly lucky to still have his job.

SirNemesis · 2013-12-19T06:12:43+00:00

This is an example of a collective action problem. If there weren't so many female workers flooding the job market, and instead most females opted-out, then the job market wouldn't be so cutthroat, and women with stay-at-home stints would still be able to find reasonable employment. As would men who have been unemployed for a while, don't have experience, have a drug conviction, some other thing that makes them unemployable.

Sadly though, the dual income trap is resulting in more and more women working, which in turn excacerbates the problem. It's a vicious cycle. Of course, there are other factors at play, such as immigration and the destruction of manufacturing. However, women entering the workforce en-masse is a major factor in this.

While there is a good chance that the author did a frivolous divorce, I don't want to jump to that conclusion. It's possible for women to do everything right and still get divorced, and they should have options after that to support themselves. Just as men should not have to be taken to the cleaners in divorce court if they get frivorced. This is a good argument for getting rid of no-fault divorce (or rather linking fault with payments). And better disability insurance for in case the working spouse becomes unable to work.

Pink_acetaminophen · 2013-12-18T23:51:30+00:00

That's why people shouldn't divorce.

LadyLumen · 2013-12-19T19:38:52+00:00

I can't take this article that seriously since the author doesn't explain why the divorce happened or what her husband was like. Was she contributing to the marriage in any way? It usually takes two to Tango.

Becoming a "Stay at Home" mom means that your job is to take care of your children and please your husband. Perhaps she wasn't taking all the right steps to please her husband and keep him interested.

This is like if she got a job at a News Paper and then stopped trying to impress her co-workers.

With that said, I think it is good for a woman to have a backup plan in case things go wrong with her marriage. Having a degree or some kind of useful skill is important. I also think it's more balanced if a mom volunteers or works part time - rather than just doing the whole stay at home thing.

The author also doesn't mention if she's getting any kind of alimony. Seeing that she was a Stay At Home Mom for several years - she probably is. Living on alimony isn't luxurious, but it does give her the resources to pay the basic bills and perhaps even send herself to school to get a useful skill like nursing.

MrsStrom · 2013-12-20T16:43:08+00:00

First thought- gee I wonder why you got divorced? Nagging shrews often get divorced because they think the grass is greener.

Cheese and rice. I can't read anymore. What a twat. She made a series of very poor decisions and now she's whinging about how its all someone else's fault. Her hamster must be a cardio bunny for all the wheel spinning.

I am a stay-at-home mom and housewife. Have been for many years. When times were lean, I'd get a job to supplement my husband's earnings and still do all the housework. It sucked. We both agreed that me staying home was the best for everyone. He hated having late/half-assed dinners and a worn out wife. And frankly, I hated working at a job that took my away from my husband and children.

The author sounds like a feminist that's pissed that she can't have her cake and eat it too. Career or family- one WILL suffer for the other. There simply aren't enough hours in the day to do both optimally. It really is that simple.

Bad_day_today · 2013-12-19T16:01:56+00:00

That's one of the reasons I would never even consider being a stay-at-home mom. I saw this happen to my mother when she and my Dad divorced after 25 years of marriage. In my parents' case, he cheated on her, so it wasn't that she instigated a divorce for no reason. But, she ended up in a much worse position for supporting him in his career and raising children while he was at work.

I was in college when it happened, but my lesson was: no matter how much you love and trust someone, you still have to think about all the possibilities. You can't make assumptions about how other people will act in the future. Make sure your own future is your priority.

Title	What are your thoughts on this, "I wish I hadn't opted out" article?
Author	OddQuestionGirl
Upvotes	3
Comments	32
Date	December 18, 2013 11:06 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1t7coi/what_are_your_thoughts_on_this_i_wish_i_hadnt/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/what-are-your-thoughts-on-this-i-wish-i-hadnt.197234 https://theredarchive.com/post/197234

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