I must govern the clock, not be governed by it.
Golda Meir

Steven Covey in his great book The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People stated that when approaching things in life that are repeated and done often, you should approach it from the standpoint of being a clockmaker, not a clock watcher. You should build systems and processes that simplify the task, instead of watching the clock and spinning along to the time trying to get things done. Simple things like, automatic bill pay instead of writing a check out every month is being a clock maker. r/Mealprepsunday is a great example of being a clock maker. These are all things that maximize effort and minimize time for something you have to do all the time.

 

Leadership and Course Correction

My wife recently went back to work, after being a stay at home mom for the past 6 years. It was a financial strain, and we made it work but things are much easier now. She has a job working retail management and as such during this time of year it’s crazy hours for sure. Between my travel and her work we’ve had to rearrange some of the household duties to accommodate our new busier life.

One thing I’ve taken over is groceries. It’s a logical fit; I work from home and can get it done during a long lunch. The upside is I have a clearer vision over a large portion of the finances; groceries is the largest outlay second only to the mortgage. I used to give her $600 a month for groceries for our family of 5. That included cleaning supplies, paper supplies and foodstuffs. Every month she would come to me and complain, “I shop the sales but I’m going to run out again…” She had her budgets and I would tell her to borrow and move stuff around. She would hem and haw, and find some money; not to mention she would go to the store like 8 times a week. We eat organic for the things that count,plus buy meat and fresh veggies, but she complained she could never come in under budget. I started shopping and instead of going to the local chain megamart, I now go to Aldi’s, Costco and Walmart. I average right at $500 a month. I still buy organic whenever possible and have shopping down to once a week.

The other side of her working is I have the kids alone for most of the weekends during the holidays. Not a biggie as they are at the age where they are independent. The most I have to do is feed them, and maintain a schedule. Yet when I’m out of town the house is disheveled, the kids lack discipline, and it takes a whole solid weekend to get everything back on track. My wife is a doer. She’s not a planner. She’s not a clockmaker; she’s a clock watcher. So I took a step back and asked, “What can I do to make things run themselves?” The groceries were pretty easy. I’m a process engineer at heart, and have a lot of experience with just in time productions. I built a list, came up with what are essentials for every trip and cleaned out the pantry and reorganized it. I stock everything via FIFO because we were wasting too much food. My wife had a bad habit of, “Oh let me run to the store for it…” because she couldn’t find it or wanted something we didn’t have. Now, if it’s not on the shelf we don’t make it. I even bought shelf stable milk, for back up. There are zero things we need to go back to the store for. I meal plan for the week, including “fast food” for nights when we have practice, and on Sunday I make 3 other meals for the week to heat/reheat. I’ve installed a chest freezer and have slowly built up a supply of meat and frozen foods from specials and sales. All the while I’m still getting my usual chores done I need to, taking care of the house, bills and cars.

The kids discipline had started to slip, so again back to building a system. My wife has a habit of doing it because it’s simpler than coercing and cajoling the kids into it. They’re master manipulators and know how to work her pretty bad so it was time to instill some discipline. I got a garbage bag and a big box. I gave them an hour to pick up all the toys and make their beds. If I found any toy out, it was going in the bag and I would give it to good will. The box is a permanent reminder, and has “Good will” written on it. A toy played with and not put away goes into the box. The house is a lot cleaner now, and I maybe missing some things but that’s the price to pay. My kids take me serious, because I’m not a victim of their feelings. I do not care if they like me or not in the moment, and don’t take them seriously. If I need to throw a few toys out to make a point, they’ll be better for it later.

 

Input from the crew

When we went down the road of this change, I asked my wife “What do you need the most help with?” She had no answer. I was hoping it would be easy but as captain I had to get out in front on this one. I saw the tasks I could off load and quickly did that. In the heat of it, I realized that some of the crew was lacking discipline and we needed a better system to encourage that. As my first officer, she is only capable of so much, ultimately it’s still my command to do with as I see fit. Even her lack of comment was not a no-comment. It was simply an affirmation that she didn't know where to begin.

In the end I built a better system. Before I had delegated it to the First Officer, and she did ok with what she had. I had suggested lots of things like going to Aldi’s and being more consistent working with the kids, but she just wanted to survive in the now. She just wanted to watch the clock and move to the next task when the bell went off.

As Alpha-Providers we accept that there’s always room for improvement. Even a well-oiled machine, and battle tested crew needs training, discipline and new ways to do things. You can’t expect your first officer to be the one who does these things by her own volition. It’s your ship; lead by example sometimes.