I have been reading through the book recommended on here: “A Low Sex Marriage” - A Mans Guide to Dread, Seduction and the Long Game.

I want to explain my situation to see what I need to focus on the most in order to make a change these days. I get the fact that after all of the BETA stuff and being a NICE GUY that more than likely I have caused my wife to not be attracted to me by trying to Please her and do what she wants.

Its definitely a hard reality to face and I must say that I feel kind of like a failure when it comes to the rejection and her non interest in me. Its actually been very interesting reading this LOW SEX MARRIAGE book because it makes sense however on some levels it seems as its a game.

My experience at the moment as I look and observe my wife is that she seems to be caught in a pattern as well that looks similar to someone who is depressed or has issues.. She goes to sleep at night where many of the times she wants to be left alone. Last night it was my arm is so heavy and why I am laying my arm on her stomach.. and almost every morning for her seems like such work for her to get up, perhaps she is depressed. Its as if she had been drinking the night before - its like the morning is a hang over where it takes her lots of energy to get going and its a weird morning most of the time with her ….

if I look at the 60 days of Dread: Here is kind of where I stand because since I have read MMSPL by Athol Kay and had a session with Atoll Kay - his suggestion was it wouldn’t matter if I was Brad Pitt it seems as though based on your description and what you describe your wife he would bet had endocrine imbalance and it be good for her to get a blood panel on her endocrine system and the trick here is actually getting her to go for that ..

Here is review of where I stand based on 60 Days of Dread. I am 46 and my wife is 46...

Week 1, Lifting for Life

I have been lifting with a personal trainer heavy weights for the last 3 years, I am more defined have lots of muscle and have lost 30-35 lbs, and lost 3-4 belt sizes as well. I work out 4 times per week and I look great. To give you an example the last few times I went dancing I had great looking women hit on me dancing - 3-4 great looking woman approach me and want to dance with me. I was in uber and had a 21 year old hot girl having a conversation and touching my arm while we are talking. When I walk into a restaurant people know who I am, they are friendly and always give me the best treatment…Women do respond to me …So I have been lifting now for year. I have definition in my stomach, arms, and I look great ! I keep lifting more and more and lately I have been trying some things to get even more defined and ripped.

Whats funny is my wife will say you should not be getting more muscular and bigger - even though I look great, I think she says it be better to be smaller and weigh less and elongate and make myself look thinner than to have all this muscle, which may as well be a shit test I guess, I do not take it personally - but my wife is more of a minimalist.

My wife works out with a female trainer that I started with and I do not believe my wife eats enough based on her energy, always yawning and being tired or easily aggravated at the smallest things. This could be her imbalance or perhaps food. But my wife seems to focus on working out work, and keeping herself busy with responsibilities.

Week 2, Eating for Health and Fitness

For the last 3 years I have cut out all sugars, processed foods, I only eat fish and vegetable and most are organic, no dairy , no cheeses, no breads. I have a food journal for the last 3 years where I monitor protein, carbs and fats. I do not eat any simple carbs mostly complex .. Only oatmeal, sweet potatoes, brown rice, quinoa, and I also stay away from oils, salad dressings, sauces with a calorie intake of about 1800 per day. Eating at 6 am , 9 am , 12 pm , 3 pm, 6 pm and 9 pm with some organic whey shakes again watching my food for the best results of looking great. I do not drink juice, sodas, alcohol and only water,, tea and coffee with almond milk..

Week 3, Hygiene

Hygiene, I take showers every day. I am clean shaven all over to look and feel good. I actually shave my chest and private area always am fresh and super clean. Sometimes i take 2 showers in a day. I wear some cologne light light and get all my clothes dry cleaned and I always look great when I go out with or without family.

Week 4, Style

Style, I have style. I look good and get great shirts that are unique, cool shoes, jewelry bracelets and things that make me feel great. I have style and we always get the best of everything clothes, products, food and etc ..

Week 5, Game

I definitely NEED WORK in GAME. I don’t play any games with my wife and I must say that my wife is always keeping track of me and what I am doing. I usually wake up at 5 am and 2 days I leave for for the gym because of my training times and my wife is in bed when I leave and in bed at 7 am when i return with my daughter who is 6 years old.

Week 6, Finances

Finances probably need some assistance. I used to make about 300+K per year and make about $150k-200k but we run a business together and it doesn’t seem like enough most of the time. I seems that no matter how much I make my wife always has something else she wants. She has shared that she thought we would be more successful my know all of the time. When we are in not having enough money she kind of puts out there - we need to get bills cleaned up. When I was working making 300k-400k we had 0 bills, and no debt and paid cards off every week…Now a days it just seems like whatever I make is not enough and I also feel pressure that its all on my to bring in all of this money. Honestly I wish my wife also had the desire to think about my needs more just like I think about hers. It seems that its my responsibility to make the money and my wife to kind of hold me hostage and give her judgements and all about everything when I am the one that brings in the money. The tricky thing is my wifes opinions always do not produce solution orientated coversations and many times she just likes to complain and tell me what I should do and nag me or put the financial weight on me. Perhaps I do need to STEP up, but I must say its a lot of pressure when you have to create an income of 300k-500k per year and that doesn’t seem like ample to live in LA or get up to speed with the luxury we are all sold on TV and around us …

Week 7, Career

We own a business together. We had a gap when I was let go and and we started the business - along with starting a business come lots of expenses. We were doing ok, covering everything but we lost some major clients because they were not the “right” ones, and it came down to it being my fault that I wasn’t bringing in more customers monthly because i fell into QA mode and trying to handle the operations and fulfillment of customers.

I have made money in business, consulting and also other things. At the time I am thinking about just focusing on knocking the money out of the park so that I can get back on top and not hear the shit from her and most of all get some things that I want to get for myself. I just want more resources and want to have fun again. My wife states that if you have more money that it can fix most things. Not having enough money for her seems to be another great excuse she comes up with many times.. I can say even when I was making about 400k, there were other issues she had and we only had sex 1 time every two weeks..

Where are we with our passion and sex life ? Answer:

In the last 2 years we have had sex about 5 times. Last time was about 1 week ago and before that about 6 weeks before that and before that 6 months before that …

I have had some talks about this and wife claims she just feels kind of worried and doesn’t have much desire to have sex… last time we had a chat and I suggested that I was going to get my own place because of the fact that I just am tired of hearing her complain all of the time, at the time I was doing too much for her and trying to please her ..

After reading no more mr nice guy I removed several things : such as dropping off and picking up daughter to all activities, doing grocery shopping for the household, washing dishes and making all of the beds a and lots of other things where I was trying to make her life easier. Lately I have to think about WHY am I doing something and if I really want to do it to go.

In June we had an argument because my wife was complaining about everything I did, and she was yelling at our daughter. I told her calmly that I am tired of her constantly complaining and getting upset and that this behavior is getting old. I told her it might be a good idea for me to get my own place so that I have space to be at peace vs being bantered. She freaked out and left after she said she would find a place and ‘I let her walk out the door. Then after coming to her senses she came back a few hours later and said it was not right and she will work on not screaming and that she wanted to work on the relationship. I suggested we see a marriage counselor for us to work on issues. She feels that I should be able to work on my stuff on my own but she feels if its necessary her to go to counselor she would.

We have discussions every time and and we discuss issues and then there doesn’t not seem to be any progress moving forward. I love her however its the same pattern. she is always tired, coming up with more work for me and her today to and she can’t seem to shift to a mode to relax have romantic times or move towards sex , Its not that I want sex, I want her to be interested in connecting with me ..intimately affectionately and sexually.

Lately I have been just focused on gym, yoga, staying focused on things beneficial for my career and work to work on something where I see progress ..

I am open for suggestions and hopefully this review has helped me be more through in my explanation. I love her however we are not making any progress and I feel bad for her being tired and checked out mentally from what I discuss .. I do not want to beg for attention, intimacy and sex…

We used to go on date nights every saturday and get a babysitter and the sitter would come around 2 pm and then stay until 10 pm however it just became going out to dinner - to the best places Sushi, Desert, Coffee, Movies, Beach and we would get home and she would be tired and exhausted and go to sleep. I just thought to myself these dates were not working for both of us . and we are spending a few hundred dollars between the babysitter and food and etc ..

It turned into a pattern that we would only have 5-10 minutes of sex between 9 pm and 10:30 on Saturday every few weeks and that was it ..

We both work together at home and were taking walks during the day . However whenever i initiated during day when no one is around at home from 8 am to 4 pm she always would respond how can you think about sex when we have work to do and money to make ….

So that is where I am. How is it now? I have been focused on leaving house a few times per week and doing things like going out with friends or doing something on my own for a few hours and coming back… I seriously think my wife has something unconnected around sex - intimacy … I just do not know how to turn it back on. Have been reading through these books and I want these things to change sooner than later …