See original here.

Quick recap: My wife and I were in a bad place. We had a big fight a few weeks ago and she decided to cut off sex for at least the summer but was fine with me sleeping with other women. We have 2 kids and kids were out of town during this time period.

So I was extremely resentful and had posted to MRP as I was mulling over my options. MRP wisely said don't move out or run away so I didn't. The next day I did call a lawyer and was still seriously thinking about divorce. Things with the wife were cordial and even though MRP said don't acted butt hurt I still was and continued to quietly act that way.

Then I attended a personal development seminar I had previously signed up for and it completely changed my perspective.

The seminar help me unload a metric shit-ton of emotional baggage. From an RP perspective this caused my OI to shoot way up.

I talked with my wife and took responsibility for acting butt hurt about everything and didn't expect or need her to take responsibility for her shit. Also I was really positive around her instead of sullen and withdrawn.

So this brought her defenses down and we were able to 'make up' but she was still refusing to have sex because she's insanely stubborn.

This is where /u/ountpudyoola comment really helped. We were talking about/negotiating sex instead of doing it. Also in the past I would get resentful if we didn't have sex (no OI).

So on night one my wife and I were making out and as things start to heat up she cuts it off saying we're not having sex. I tell her I'm fine doing whatever. A similar thing happens on night number 2. Then on the third night I can see her hamster go off and was about to do the same thing and I stopped her and said: "I don't want to talk about it. Let's just do what we want to do and stop where we want to stop." So we continue and things start really heating up and her stubbornness melts away and we finally end up having sex! So I feel like we really turned the corner here and we had sex again a few days later again.

I'm going to continue working on my SMV especially going to the gym. I've purchased all the RP books and will be working through them over the summer. Also I am not comfortable recommitting to a sexually exclusive relationship with my wife at this time. Sex is an area of my life that I have repressed most of my life and I need to work through what my needs are.

I wanted to thank everyone who gave advice and talked me off the ledge, this was a big deal for me. I realize that that this wasn't a perfect RP approach and that I have a very long way to go out of the blue zone but I think I'm pointed in the right direction now.

tl;dr - I was acting like a butt hurt child. I knocked that off, offloaded emotional baggage and upped my OI then seduced my wife with help from MRP.