Well...where to begin. Last week I learned one of the most valuable lessons of my life. Your ego prevents you from seeing your ego. I came here wanting to fix my marriage, not myself. THIS IS WRONG. The marriage is only as good as the people in it, and when you suck so will your marriage. Period. Ignoring this truth will guarantee things will never get better. To the newbs, learn from my mistake. I cam here to fix my marriage, and everyone instead pointed out what was wrong with ME. I didn't want to hear it and threw a hissy fit and got my ass banned. Don't be a fool, and don't make a fool of yourself. Humble yourself, accept that your situation sucks because you suck. This is fundamental, but also infuriating. Things seem hopeless, and impossible to improve. You're mad at everything, and will be tempted to indeed blame EVERYTHING but yourself. When you turn the blame inwards, then you are ready.

Now, for the field report. Spent the weekend at the in laws for mother's day and brother in laws birthday. A lightbulb went off and I realized you can withdraw affection without being a duchebag about it. (comes off as being butthurt and then is counter-productive.) So for denial of sex, I checked out and stopped rewarding my wife for bad behavior. I just made sure I had other things to do, and stopped occupying myself with her emotions constantly. That last sentence is incredibly important. Overall, the weekend was very fun, and I had a good time. My wife didn't however, and acted tired and like she didn't want to be there. Instead of trying to make her emotions my top priority, I just enjoyed myself. I have never really done this before.

Last day of the weekend she breaks out the "What's wrong? Why are you mad?" My mastery of the when I say no I feel guilty techniques is not up to par, so I followed one simple rule. Shut up. I simply said nothing's wrong and smiled. She didn't relent, and it was very hard to maintain frame, because she acted like she wasn't buying it but kept pushing, bringing out all the tricks of the trade trying to get me to admit something was wrong. I held on by a thread AND KEPT MY MOUTH SHUT. I did not engage the hamster. She finally gave up and got mad about it and stopped bugging me, and still I did not engage.

Get home, I start paying some bills and she calls me to the room. She's on the bed naked. I proceed. It's starfishy at first, but she loosens up and we have great sex. Afterwords she says she feels we have been in a slump and it is her fault, and she thought that sex would help. Smart girl. I had alot to say at this point, but instead nodded affirmatively and once again, kept my mouth shut. Notice that if I would have engaged the "what's wrong?" conversation, I would have inevitably ended up admitting something was my fault, and thus she would have no reason to turn to sex to solve the issue, which in fact solved the issue. Shut that crap down. It's a trap, and you will never win.

Next two days come and go, I keep busy around the house, fixing things and such. Dinner is on the table every day when I get home, things are just going generally well. I get another prominent shit test. She had said emphatically that she didnt want anything for mothers day, so I didn't get her anything. She then comes out and says she's really been hinting that she wanted a certain something (material) and I hadn't been picking up her hints. Now, old me would have started rationalizing and defending my position, but this time I just blew it off and moved on. Today I got great sex before work, after work I initiated and got a blowjob followed by the best sex I have had in over a year.

For the fellow newbs, it is tempting to jump right in and start doing "red pill" things as much as possible. Alot of new guys want to jump right into dread. Take it slow, focus on yourself, and if you want something you can safely do right now, SHUT UP. Silence is golden, and not saying anything is better than saying the wrong things. Also, as everyone says, get to the gym and move some steel. And one last thing, it's not as hopeless as you think. I was madder than I have ever been in my entire life when I started really swallowing the pill. But realize that you screwed it up, it's your own fault, and it's up to you to make it better. Learn from those who have gone before you, don't be disdainful as I was. Learn this from me, you will make an absolute fool of yourself. Also learn from me, to own it when you do. For all the guys who commented on my last thread, thank you from the bottom of my heart. Your advice was not wasted, nor was your time. If you will have me, then you have gained a brother. I have much to learn, and will stop talking and start listening. I have reached the turning point. I have recognized my own failures, and now seeing them, can fix them. My problems are my own. I had to take a kick to the balls from everyone here to recognize that, but I am grateful for the pain now.

EDIT: I don't want this to come across as me saying I got sex one good time and now things are all better! This is a long game and I am well aware of that. Mainly, my summary would be that I have opened my eyes to my own faults, and thus have realized the key to progress. I refused to see what was wrong with me, and wondered why things wouldn't get better. This should be a given truth, that we already know when we come here but unfortunately as I have proven that's not always the case, and we come here quite broken, mad, and generally insane. The trick is we get better, and stop feeling sorry for ourselves and do something about it. I will continue to lift, because I know for a 100% fact that I wouldn't have gotten any sex if I hadn't made noticeable gains at the gym. If your wife wont have sex with you it's because you're not sexy. I was trying to hamster my way around that. I will make reading and understanding WISNIFG a top priority now, so I have more than silence in my arsenal.