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strategos_autokrator · 2015-02-21T20:46:58+00:00

It took me very strong boundaries to enforce time for myself. Wife wanted her activities, so we agreed she gets two nights a week, i get two. She still tries to take over my nights with bullshit stuff, but I'm firm and say no and go do my thing anyway. I do whatever I want on my nights. I focus on stuff related to my MAP on my nights. Besides, if she is a bitch, i just go out after son is asleep. Also, on her nights, I just do stuff with my son that i enjoy doing. Just quality time father-son stuff. It is awesome.

Finally, when things are too tight, i just call a babysitter and pay her. The money is worth if for me to do what i want independent of how bitchy my wife is at the moment.

In the end, it is about having clear priorities. I have many things that are important to me (my well-being, son, wife, work, etc). I just rank the needs, and accept i can't do all i want, and then based on that, plan how to accomplish the most important. In the end, is is my choice, so i accept the consequences of the prioritizing, knowing i can't bitch about stuff i don't get done if i ranked it low in priorities.

One thing I did was that i really wanted to see some friends from my old martial arts class, so i just modified my MAP and started martial arts again. I'm very happy with this decision.

newlifeasredpill · 2015-02-22T03:23:55+00:00

Find a rec team and play sports once a week. The new friends will energize you.

If you aren't athletic then find a club that meets weekly

You can and should have a night a week where you get a little less rest or see the kids a bit less....its one night dude. Its a good example to set for your kids

trendynamegoeshere · 2015-02-22T03:30:20+00:00

One thing that I have done with my schedule is decide on my late work nights that I will be even later. Two reasons, 1. no sense in trying to squeeze out 20 minutes of dad time when kid doesn't always wait up for me. 2. I can decide where to go what to do without input from the s/o

NotABibleScholar · 2015-02-21T23:48:02+00:00

You do need time for yourself sure, however let me say things are situational. Not everything is binary as is sometimes proposed. You are home 3 hours typically a day after work plus sleep. This already creates time or separation between you and your wife. If you need to though you can just take the young ones with you, go to the library or a McDonalds that has a play place even if you don't eat the food. You can use days off for your time, which can even be an hour, etc.. Then use your primary time for your kids. You can also do your thing at home, and just let her do yours. Tinker in a garage or basement. Remember RP is stated as a philosophy not a set of rules, sometimes it does get treated that way. What is your objective for your time away? Just to avoid breaks in frame, or to show you have other interesting things to do?

nourathrowway · 2015-02-22T15:13:56+00:00

Good question, but repost with the question in the subject to get more answers.

I'd love to see more posts on married-with-toddlers. It seems like toddlers put all of life on hardmode.

TooPrettyToDie · 2015-02-23T03:21:32+00:00

Catch up with friends at lunch? Bonus points if you FB with pics of you guys having fun!

Title	More questions
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	6
Comments	11
Date	February 21, 2015 7:43 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MarriedRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/2womwc/more_questions/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/more-questions.202479 https://theredarchive.com/post/202479

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