Married 14 years now. I’m new to red pill. I can’t believe how stupid I have been but at least my eyes are beginning to open. I’ve broken every rule there is when dealing with women. I married a single mom (white knight mentality) and now have a step daughter who is 16 and a daughter who is about to be 13. When I say I was beta max, it was max. I grew up being raised by a single mother so there was no father figure to speak of so I never wanted my children to have to live through divorce. 14 years later, I feel like a dip shit. At least I see that I was and I am now determined to change it. I did all the standard things. I gave up who I was…pretty much bowed down to the woman on the pedestal. No friends left to speak of. As it is, it’s Friday night and I’m sitting in the dining room typing this instead of being on a date. Wife is in the bedroom not speaking to me.

It started innocent enough. It seemed like we were a good match. Then she started getting all bitchy and of course, I tried to pander to her which just made it worse. Then there was the suspicions of infidelity which turned into more than suspicions with evidence all over the place. I left her a couple of times but always came back. Damn I am stupid. She’s always denied them but I know. Too much smoke.

Fast forward to present day and a month ago my wife told me she wanted me to move out. I had only just discovered red pill so I am still trying to process. At first I agreed but then I realized, she had drained the accounts and I literally have nowhere to go. I’ve since moved my check to my own account where she does not have access. I told her that I would move but it would be on my terms and not hers. It will probably be March before I can do anything. In the past she has told me that she wasn’t in love with me that it’s only financial reasons that we are together, doesn’t enjoy sex with me, etc. I guess that is how the hamster justified cheating. A week and a half ago, she does a complete 180 on the moving out and asks me what I think about having another baby. Immediately I thought something was up. Turns out she cannot have any more kids (40 and too many complications). Anyway, she told me she does love me and she wants it to work out. I told her I would need to see some changes if that were so but I am seeing the same old routine. Denied sex and the same old crazy attitude.

I guess it comes down to this. She is my wife and I do love her but I do not think things are ever going to be any different. How do you practice red pill on someone who simply doesn’t respond. If I do not speak to her, that is fine with her. If I do speak, she simply says nothing. It seems she simply does not care. Is there anything that can be done to get her attention in a constructive way? Am I trying too hard? I know that was a lot to digest but I’m struggling for answers. I’ve read the Rational Male, NMMNG, Athol Kay and many other books on red pill/alpha and my struggle seems to be, how do you lead when the other is unwilling to be led? I’m looking for constructive feedback and I can take the straight stuff.

Personal info: 40 years old. I am an introvert. I realize the need to talk to other people but I find it a challenge. Not to mean I am socially unable. Just that I do not find it my natural state. I used to be in very good shape but gained about 100 lbs since getting married. I am 280 now. I just started back to the gym. I work at a fairly good company and make a decent income. I am well regarded by my peers. I’ve never been good at meeting women. Very shy when it comes to the opposite sex.