Curbing Outward Displays of Frustration after bein rejected sexually.

SorcererKing · 2014-10-04T15:43:40+00:00

We could give you tips on improving your attitude, but that would be giving you a band-aid when you need life-saving heroic intervention.

You don't provide much detail here, but judging from your other thread about your wife disrespecting your promotion and other comments you've made in r/deadbedrooms and such, I think you have major work to do.

Immediate things to do:

Stop the masturbation. Seriously. I know that seems counter-intuitive since you're not getting what you need, but masturbating is you getting in your own way. It messes with your reward centers in the brain, diminishing your confidence and drive. That will in turn keep you in a place your wife doesn't find sexy, which will make you want to masturbate more, and so on. So seriously, just stop. Now. Check out the NoFap sub if you need help in that area.
Get your self-improvement plan together and execute it. You're going to see this a lot around here, but doing things like getting in shape through lifting/cardio, updating your wardrobe, and paying better attention to hygiene all work wonders. You'll look better and feel better, hence you'll be more confident, and ultimately, more attractive to your wife. This is part of instilling soft Dread as well. So get an exercise schedule mapped out and start doing that if you're not already. Make sure your wife knows about it.
Get some male friends if you don't have any. Spend time with them away from your wife, doing man things. Go shooting guns, shooting hoops, bowling, drinking fine whiskey and smoking cigars -- whatever. Show your wife that you have a life outside the family. This helps you assert yourself and break her feelings that you're always there and that she is the center of your universe. Also foundational for later Dread Game.
Get your reading on. Read UEMcGill's recommended reading list for the New Redpill Husband (look to your right) and the sidebar material on The Red Pill. You need to get that all read quickly, in the next couple days. Come to understand how your woman thinks about you, about herself, about your relationship, about sex. It's not the same as how men think about those things and that makes all the difference.

Ask more questions on MarriedRedPill if you need to. Draw inspiration from the field reports that have been posted on MarriedRedPill in the last month or so. Guys in tougher spots than you have turned things around. It won't be easy and it won't be fast, but it can be done in all but the most dire circumstances.

Remember that the only person you can change is you, an RP axiom. If your relationship isn't what you want it to be, you will have to change yourself in order to change it. Your woman is just along for the ride.

Good luck, brother, and keep us informed.

mabden_reborn · 2014-10-06T18:39:00+00:00

Outcome Independence. Learn, understand, practice, perfect.

bmunny1963 · 2014-10-09T23:29:44+00:00

I've been married 22 years w/four kids and only overcame my sexual frustration and resentment when I found red pill. I've come to understand that my resentment was really based in the belief that I'm owed a satisfying sex life as repayment for all I do for her. If that's your root cause, then blow up that belief. She doesn't "owe" you sex. You gotta make her want it. How? Improve your SMV, create some subtle dread, never show weakness, and hold frame whether you're getting some that week or not. Eventually, she'll respond as her biological and social programming demands. Whatever you do, don't get pissy because you're not getting pussy. That just comes across as weak and unattractive. If you initiate and she rejects, your attitude and demeanor should be, "oh well, your loss" and go on about the business of making your world excellent.

Title	Curbing Outward Displays of Frustration after bein rejected sexually.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	12
Comments	8
Date	October 4, 2014 2:16 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MarriedRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/2i9z5l/curbing_outward_displays_of_frustration_after/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/curbing-outward-displays-of-frustration-after-bein.202957 https://theredarchive.com/post/202957

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