My Red Pill Discovery:
You can look back at my post that I made in November of 2017. https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/7awtu5/wife_separated/
I still keep it up and I still look back at it every now and again when I need a reminder of why i'm here on some of the rough days after swallowing the pill and still going through the discovery. It's a bit long, but 10 months worth of learning and discovery:
6ft - 210- 18%BF
Bench - 230 5 sets of 6
Squats - 280 3 sets of 8 (Bad knees football and motocross)
Curls - 120 4 sets 8
Leg press 320 2 sets 5
Lats - 95 4 sets 8
My routine changes 3 times a week working different targeted muscles then 2 times a week working groups.
Cardio varys between mountain biking 5-12 miles 2 times a week and trail running 4-6 miles 2 times a week
I seperated from my Ex wife July 2017, I was beta to the max just not realizing it was such a thing with the upbringing in a tribe atmosphere of feminine imperative. The typical be yourself, be honest, emotional and emotionally available. All of what most of you already know or have gone through.
Needless to say during the first 5 months of my seperation I still helped her out with whatever she needed, all while trying to get her back and begging for sex. Thinking now my known covert contracts should get me what I want then I would rambo when it didn't work out like I planned.
I fell into deep depression, didn't leave the house. Barley even got off the couch when I wasn't working. Just waiting, waiting for that woman to see the pedestal I put her on and value me as a “Good Guy”. I thought, everything I did for her in our 8 years of marriage should mean something, now realizing It was just my turn. We have a daughter together and I raise her two other sons from another man since they were 3 and 1.5 yrs old… ( should've saw the writing on the wall then..)
So one day while scouring the internet for some guidance, advice, knowledge to bring me out of my slump I came across this place on reddit - Married Red Pill. After reading some posts and seeing the comments of Men that just truly seemed to care I thought I would try and get some advice from these guys. Advice I did get: you can see all 101 comment here. I believe it's probably one of the longest on this page. Needless to say I got my world turned upside down. I started deer-ing the commenters and got called out, finally i just gave up, stopped making excuses for my pathetic behavior and started to listen.
First thing I did was hit amazon, I bought NMMNG, The Rational Male all 3 books, MGTOW, The Map, downloaded the Book of Pook, What women want when they test, Open her, MMSLP, Hold onto your nuts, Dark Triad, 48 Laws of power. Also downloaded and read 95% of the sidebar. Next I joined my local Gym
I started reading in my free time at work on my Kindle app, I would read when I got home for an 2 hour. I bought notebooks and made notes of everything I read. (On my 4th notebook) Notes on the mistake I made, notes on important things to remember and just over all Ah-Ha moments I had about what I was reading.
I spent 3 months in this process and I knew I still wasn't ready to post. I didn't feel I knew enough yet. I kept reading and lifting, got new clothes, STFU around my wife at the time when she would come around. January I went on Tinder and met a woman just for friend with benefits. We would hang out, fuck, she did everything I wanted. One day she started giving me some emotional bullshit through a text that rambled on for ever. I simply wrote back, “Knock your bull shit off, if you want talk come talk i'm done now I got shit to do.” She was at my house after work, apologetic, not wanting to lose what we have. I simply said “what made you change your thinking” she said “ I needed that, I needed you to put me in my place. You were right I was being an emotional mess and taking it out on you.” Then she thanked me and blew me.
It was that moment that I realize I've grown. I've learned. I recognize the test and conquered it without even thinking. My wife even came over one day while she was at my house, left in a bitch fit cause another woman was there. I simply told her you left and are not meeting my needs. That following weekend my wife invited me out for dinner, we had a great time, I started catching feelings again. She was grabbing on me, kissing me, Putting my hand between her legs on the ride home (short skirt). I dropped her off, thanked her for dinner and left. 20 mins later I get photos of her in lingerie telling me to come back and I should stay the night. I respectfully decline and told her were seperated to work on the marriage, you put no effort in and until that is the intention there is nothing that sex is going to accomplish at this point. I also knew the only reason she acted this way was because of the competition anxiety she got because another woman was at my house a week prior. I knew if it was genuine desire to rekindle she would continue and uphold to fight for me. It didn't. A week later she told me she regretted sending me the photos. AWALT
I took the trash to the curb (She left), I would be a fool to let it come back in and treat me that way. I shortly gave her an ultimatum, she wanted counseling (which didn't work because she walked out twice after the counselor called her out on her “Victim” bullshit) I filed for divorce. She was shocked that I didn't give her more time (by now its been 10 months) I got the house, 50/50 custody. She had to have her mom move out with her from arizona to help her with the kids and purchase a house because she couldn't afford one on her own. Does it all still sting, of course it does. Do I miss her from time to time, yes but I don't miss the emotional abuse, the narcissistic behavior, the constant tests. Now I do my thing, with who I want when I want. I have 3 plates now that I spin every opposite week each knowing, and each competing for my attention. I only supply the attention based on their desire and behavior.
Overall I must say I wish I found this so much earlier in my life. It would have saved me a lot of drama. The solipsism is real, Hypergamy is a bitch, and the female imperative is a game that is constantly going to have to be in check if your ever in a relationship with a woman.
Thank you to each and everyone one of those who kicked my ass back in november, calling me out on my weak ass behavior. My life has changed for the better and I will never know all that can be learned but I look forward to the journey. Intergender Psychology / Intergender behavioral Psychology has now become one of my favorite past times to observe, read, and write about.
I hope this post helps someone or at least shows some new men that things can be better. I look forward to posting in the future with some of my recent essays I've written just for opinions and theories. Much Love MRP community, could've done it without you.